multiplicity_archives | Truth In A Public Forum

i don't know how useful this would be - but my criteria for things being public or not is what would get me put in hospital. or what would cause other problems for me, and if they would be nesicary (sp) problems.

When I ashamed of something, or don't think people will understand, I either filter a lot or I write in another, private journal.

We are struggling with the same question regarding
how much of ourselves to reveal and in what way. For most of life we have been silenced, either externally or
internally. Writing is a way out of isolation. It has taken a long time for me to learn the freedom of trusting myself and
confiding in others.
On the other hand, we find writing a risk, necessitating discretion on
our part. Caution versus freedom. Even as a multiple, solitary self-observation is limiting. I want to disclose or not based upon
choice, instead of demand.
I grow tired of allowing my fears to dictate and thereby
inhibit our creativity and expression.lie

My primary filter for locking is 'would I mind if my mother read this'. She doesn't read the journal, though I know my father does. This means, practically speaking, that comments about the politics of the bio-family get locked.

Sometimes, but very rarely, I filter things to tight groups. This is rare enough that it's pretty much irrelevant, but is generally either 'people who are close to me [on this subject]' or 'people who are interested in this subject'.

Don't share anything you're not comfortable with.

A vague post like "I'm feeling rotten, for reasons too complicated to explain here" can work if you want people to know you're uneasy but not why.

Anything you put up unfiltered has the potential to be found by anyone in the world - including future employers, etc. May not be likely, but that's the possibility I try to keep in mind when deciding when to friendslock.

All our journals are friends only.

I have a huge FList, I generally don't filter it unless it's something very very very emotionally sensitive for me.

Selene has a very very tight FList, very small, only people she absolutely trusts. No filters. Her old journal has a bigger list, lots of filters of different levels and different people.

chloe's would be public if we let her.

I talk about anything and everything in the journal. Friends only usually, sometimes filtered. The others are a bit less talkative and a bit less interested in being open about various things. So they don't talk about them and I don't talk things they talk about with me. I consider it rude. But I would write it in a paper journal, perhaps, because it's less about keeping secrets from each other than it is about not being comfortable talking about stuff to the rest of the world. Little One has her own journal and she writes in there sometimes but she's still sorting a lot of things out in her head.

So I guess: whatever you're comfortable with. If you need to get stuff out of your head, write! get it out of your head! I find it's much less scary once it's on paper. Unless it's an unrequited love thing, then it just makes me cry. But it's still good to get it on paper.

As for what I'm willing to share in a public entry: no identifying information, nothing to contact real life me to online me, and if the body's name is attached to it, no information that I wouldn't be uncomfortable with our abuser(s) (but one in particular) googling our name and reading himself.

a great deal of our posts are public, but alot are private as well.. how we decide is if we believe there is a certain person still reading our lj, would we want them to know these things about us when they aren't in our lives anymore? so those posts are filtered..

other than that, we don't care too much.. random people can believe us or not.. whatever on them, really.. we're tired of hiding certain things about who we are.. we understand privacy, but we also understand not being ashamed of us.. so our posts are half and half.. just depends on who is doing the typing..

if someone happens on our journals and reads something they don't like, nobody is forcing them to stick around.. if they want to stick around and we feel okay about them, they may be added to a filter or two.. overall, there isn't anything that we'd care much if someone read.. how else will random people hear about different types of multiplicity anyway? ambassadors or whatever..

and as Robyn likes to say, "if you don't like, then get the fuck out!" ROFL! *winks*

There are many matters of a deeply personal nature which we will not discuss openly online, and particularly not on livejournal. Everyone has such things. You as a group and you yourself as an individual have to decide what is all right to share with others and what to keep private.

We have a lot of different filters and a lot of different levels of trust/security. Normally, we don't talk about anything disclosing the names of family members, or of our specific location (generally speaking; anyone who wanted to could narrow it down by tracing our IP address, but we still don't give specific localities or the names of places where we go to school or work) in public posts. We don't know of anyone in our immediate family who is on LJ, but we try to keep it as vague as possible just to be certain. It's the kind of thing that we don't necessarily imagine will be used against us someday, but we're aware of the possibility.

As far as material which is non-potentially-incriminating but still personally-sensitive, we also generally make that friends-only by our own choice. We're aware that there are people who choose otherwise, and support and respect their decisions; we just don't think anyone should disclose about certain topics only because they felt pressured to by a certain person or group.

We went through this dilemna recently. Usually, we all keep our journals public, because we have nothing to hide, and are open about everything...until *cue music*...A girl who was friends with Alana in life, coincidentally, was also on my flist...and she posted recently about the anniversary of Alana's death(in case you don't know, Alana lives inside with us, she came her after no longer wanting to be where she was after her body's death)...ANYWAY, I posted a comment(on alana's request)that said something to the effect of "i miss her too, but she lives on in us"...(we all, for lots of reasons, decided to not go public with alana's presence here, and my statement was meant as, "lives on in ALL OF us"...)but it wasn't taken that way...

She responded to me, after reading not only MY journal, but Liz's as well(She has since F-locked her journal), then our faq on our website...and everything else she could find about alana's presence here, and QUOTED IT back to me, saying I was a loony, and I shouldn't try to bullshit a bullshit artist...and how if Alana really was inside with us, she should contact her parents, and write this chick a letter...well, I won't rant on it, because I could, but the point of this is...when it comes to multiplicity, for us, we have to be careful...

Liz is still the only one who's journal is f-locked...I don't give a rat's ass...and alana only posts in liz's journal, and hardly ever...

Faith, Rick and the rest
of Pack Collective

Our journal is Friends Only, but We add just about anyone *LOL* We are completely open about everything. We are much happier being open about who we are. Life is much easier that way. If anyone doesn't believe or gets rude, we just remove them from our list.

I decide based on how much it will effect the person I'm dealing with and how much I trust them.

I don't always talk about it directly in my personal LJ. I don't use filters, as I'm not particularly fond of them.

My advice is to ask yourself why you feel they should know about any aspect of your life including that one, and weigh that against what risks you might be taking in telling them. Figure out what your priorities are, and create a game plan that will allow for them.

--Me

We have no links from this journal to who-we-are/where-we-are/what-our-name-is. We also do not have any irl friends that know we post here.
with that, we are pretty comfortable in ourselves posting whatever, to whatever detail level we like. since we use this place as the one place where we can be open. if singlette friends knew we hung here, we would be alot less open, i think.

That said, we tend to hold back here, as a result of the number of 'hot words' that seem to spark fury in other systems.

-Tia

Anything that I decide to put in Live Journal is public. Now that's not very much, as you can see from my journal. I do, on the other hand keep a paper journal that is almost entirely priviate. I occasionaly share an entry or two with various people. Some times with my mental health case manager, some times with friends. But most of that I keep priviate. Though really most of it's not really that deep or very interesting. It's mostly how my day has gone, what I've done, and things like that. Occasionaly I get into a rant about something that I really don't want anyone to know about. One thing that I have decided though is that when I slip I will let both my case manager, and my outreach worker at mental health know about that. It doesn't happen often, and when it does I almost always find a way to deal with it without getting involved with expensive services like emergency, or even mental health. Still I let them know that it happened, and try to deal with it with them when my next appointment is.

That sort of covers the question. Some people keep all their journal entries on Live Journal, and that seems to work for them. I just can't think of sitting in front of the computer to write journal entries.

Jessica

We got a really randomly sized friends list lots of them are people who saw us in places and friended us and then went, wow, crazy! (in a good way) and kept reading, or when we said we were multiple in bad_sex community and they went, can we friend you? I used to have a journal and we sort of came out on that, then we got this one and were friends only then eventually we made it basically public but we filter things we think should be filtered. We have filter groups, like acquaintances and tight friends and loverrrrrs lol and family. So we click like tight friends and lovers if we only want them to see it, it's kind of easier and we don't have to add friends to about four different groups.

For us, how much we show has a great amount to do with how comfortable we are with what we are. We are friends only, entirely, but, for instance, our friend's only entry has links to websites explaining multiplicity.

If you've been 'masquerading' as a singlet for a while on your journal, you may not want to say to your entire friends list one day, "Hey everyone, I'm multiple." Although there is nothing wrong with that either, it just seems like it might lead to many shocked/disbelieving sentiments that you may not want to deal with at this time.

Perhaps start telling the people on your friends list who you really trust and creating a special filter for them? Then slowly begin adding people to that filter and explaining it to them. Perhaps even add a few other systems that you find through this community, other communities, or in any manner, for advice on the things you post and to let the rest of those on the filter see that it is not entirely 'rare' as they may have thought.

Hope that helps some. :)

We have one journal that is "public" - people who see us as one person know us there. All is public there - the journal is a front to the world.

We have this journal for us. Usually what we write in it is for the purpose of helping us work better with one another. Things that we're thinking about, venting, writing down upsetting stuff for the purpose of processing it, etc... It has filters - there are things we talk about that can disturb people in ways they might not want to deal with and we try to respect that. There are also people who've commented on those things that have helped us in ways that awe us.

Truth In A Public Forum

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

Depends

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject