Ever wish you could freeze a moment and then smash it out of existance?

[darkladyshadow.livejournal.com]

I just came out publicly in my journal. And I am scared shitless.

I am the least qualified to have done this, but I am the most confused by everything. I lose years of my life and need to be brought up to speed (after an adequate freaking out phase) everytime I come forward.

My memories stop at age 16... this body is now 24, almost 25.

The husband made the joke "Could be worse, you could be like 10 second Tom" I had no idea what he was talking about, so he sat down and watched 50 first dates... he had rented it as a joke with S.R., and they had a laugh over it. But all it did was make me cry... because that pretty much is how life is for me.

I'm sure you've seen this journal name in here before, apparently I've been a member before.

Anyway, my point was, it is now public knowledge...

What were your experiences "coming out" like?

Comments

[adreamerforme.livejournal.com]

*(hugs)*

I still haven't come out. I'm very worried about doing it.

The only people who know about my multiplicity are those who are also multiple themselves. I'm so glad you were able to come out about this to the people in your life.

[whisperedones.livejournal.com]

My coming out experience... phew. My family isn't the most openminded bunch, though they claim to be.

My mom cried because she thought it meant We were messed up and needed to be hospitalized, my stepdad doesn't believe multiplicity exists (as well as a lot of things)... but my friends, my soul-family, they were all very understanding, and hell, some of them knew and said "Oh yeah, I knew that already." I was very lucky in that aspect. I don't much care for my blood family anyway, so it's too bad.

I hope that things get easier for you. You've done the hardest part already :)

-Us

[lil-ms-scareall.livejournal.com]

it was weird for me. I lost 95% of the people I thought were friends. I still do sometimes. But I do well at hiding it from people i don't want to know so it's ok. COngratulations on your BIG step. We should talk sometime. I'm 22 = )

[darkladyshadow.livejournal.com]

Apparently my ex, and current husband know and accept it. My family all did the "you're faking, it's not real, I don't care what the doctor said...don't you ever mention it again"

I found a written journal, and have been reading through it, it seems like no one (3-D wise) has ever really said anything and just figured I was just really wierd. Or have just chosen to ignore it. The people who I was most nervous about their reactions, still haven't replied, eith in journal, or otherwise. That makes me very nervous.

[elfgoyle.livejournal.com]

Alot of my friends know and my last three boyfriends knew. I still havent told my family yet though. I don't know if I will ever be able to. My brother and sister know with out really knowing if that makes sense. they know I am different "people" some times but they don't know the name. They are 14 and 12 years younger than me I just turned 27 :( ...My mom I think does know but she is ignoring it just like she ignored what happened to me. The people that mean the most to me in this life know and that is all that matters.
I congradulate you on comming out. I admire your courage it is not an easy step.
Fell free to talk to me some time (I am also on MSN and Yahoo). :)

[darkladyshadow.livejournal.com]

And anyone who would like to speak with me about it, feel free to add me, and I'll return the favor. Or email me...whichever works best.

[qilora.livejournal.com]

"The husband made the joke "Could be worse, you could be like 10 second Tom"

man, that is a pretty fucked up thing to say... really, i think that a lot of folks just don't even think before talking... just make a joke (about things that should *not* be poked fun at) and then roll their eyes if we dare to be hurt by their remarks...

as for our coming-out experiences, i really hate to say it but there is no way to predict how a singlet will take it...

all you can do is just remember that you are not obligated to reveal anything to anyone...

when you *do* tell other people your information, only do it when you want to and when you feel safe to do so...

hugs
Juju & Co.

[hairymonster.livejournal.com]

What was "comming out" like, scary. I wasn't sure how people would react, was terrified they'd all freak. But it turned out most of my friends were really supportive, one or two pooh-pooh'd it, but We're still friends with them (simply don't discuss the topic with them). My family sort of nodded and the ignored it in the hope that it would just go away (much as they do anything "troubling").

[kiya]

Both my partners' reactions were something like, "Oh. ... now that you mention it, that explains some stuff."

Aside from that, my coming out has mostly been talking about stuff on LJ, and the primary effect of that is all my friends who I didn't know were multiple coming out to me.

[kitgreen.livejournal.com]

Well, in the offline world, only my Mother and my brother know(^our father does not, because ^we know he'd react very badly). They both reacted... okay at the time, I think, but gradually they've started to treat ^us like a singlet, and they are mostly ignoring the way ^we are. The rest of ^our offline family/friends do not know, and ^we don't really feel the need to tell them. Online, the only people who know, pretty much, are those ^we know are okay with healthy multiplicity (both multiples and singlets).

[sethrenn.livejournal.com]

Ironically, we're out just about everywhere -except- to our family. We have a suspicion they would take it very badly because thanks to bad publicity and crappy TV movies, people often tend to take "I'm multiple" as an insinuation that you were molested, and we suspect they may jump to assume we're accusing them.

If you want to see the coming-out post Azusa did in her journal, though, I can email it to you.

[nematoddity.livejournal.com]

I wish I knew. My partner came out for me. I had to be told, remember, that I was a multiple. Had that moment of the lightbulb going on, where I started thinking, 'Oh, so that's why I have blackouts and missing time and keep "coming to" in strange places...'

Granted, I haven't told everyone in my life yet, but those I feel capable of understanding, I have told. And to a person, they either disbelieve, but humor me, or are baffled, and immediately dismiss it. Very strange.

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

funny you should ask. we came out to a client/friend yesterday and she didn't get it when we tried to say "more than one mind". "you mean like a split personality?" aarxbgp;lghhbzwczxh. she was not following it at all. and we've been so careful to act the singlet around her, it's no wonder. part of the problem was probably the way we tried to explain it and word choice. jay ended up telling her he did a sort of channeling but that the "spirits" in question were not higher consciousness entities but only people like herself... like old-fashioned spiritualism where you talk to uncle fred.

we have had people get it in the past though, and not think we were either going to climb on bookcases or spin our head around and spit pea soup.

[shandra.livejournal.com]

We're out to most of our friends, much of our family (mostly in-laws but some bio-family), and some of our coworkers. We intend to continue coming out in the future.

Coming out in a huge way "sit down, I have to tell you something" has had mixed results for us - usually a period of skepticism (not always) but as long as we've made the effort to keep doing regular stuff with whoever it is, it's calmed down. (Also to be as unflaky as possible - not perfect, but not miss appointments or stuff like that.)

Expecting people to automagically understand accept multiplicity is a lot to ask. So there are sometimes losses. The more matter of fact we've been it seems, the better it has tended to work out. Leading up to it helps too rather than dropping the bombshell, in our experience.

Overall I would say about 20-25% of people have not taken it well - about half of those have walked, and the other half pretty much pretend we never said anything.

However what we have gained is a much more authentic voice and a way to stop - well - lying to people, or covering up things we think they might find "weird." And in the long run so, so much more energy and joy has come into our lives.

With your husband - that is hard, but I'm sure he doesn't understand how hurtful it was or he wouldn't have done it. I suspect what he's saying is "I see you as fully competent and wonderful." Keep talking to him and hope he does start to get it.

Shandra