(no subject)

[riseva.livejournal.com]

Okay, so, I have a multiple, or little, as I've heard some people refer to them, named Tony. Tony is 10 years old, but he doesn't seem to be able to grow up. I sometimes have flings with women, which disturbs Tony as he is quite homophobic, but I get the feeling that Tony is secretly gay, and that is the source of his homophobia, and I'd like to help him come to terms with it, and, in the process, help him to grow up. Basically, what I'm asking, is how to get Tony laid? He might not be thrilled with it at first, unfortunately. I know a male who would be interested in helping Tony, but I don't know how to go about this. Any thoughts?

Comments

[cirape.livejournal.com]

Seconded.

[riseva.livejournal.com]

He's been ten for a long time. I think part of his trouble is being unable to accept himself as an adolescent.

[riseva.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I definitely don't want to pressure him into anything. Since he's been emotionally 10 for a long time, I feel it's by choice. I think he may be homosexual and unwilling to come to terms with these "teenage feelings," and I want to help him understand an emotional and sexual relationship with a male isn't bad.

[threedog.livejournal.com]

You're a pretty crappy troll.

[riseva.livejournal.com]

I'm honestly not a troll. I'm sorry if it seems like this. I'm not suggesting raping Tony, or having him do something against his will. But I think he needs to grow up, and I want to help him do that, and to accept his adolescent feelings.

[crystalseraph.livejournal.com]

Well, I'd say it's a far more complicated process than 'getting him laid'. You need to talk to him, work this out as an adult to a child before even considering matching him up with a partner.

This means dealing with him in a responsible, non-sexual manner, and waiting until he grows up. He might just possibly be disturbed because children generally are, when they watch adults having sex.

Also, you do come across as a troll, sorry to say...

[riseva.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry. I didn't realize I'd come across offensively. "Getting him laid" might have been a crude way to put it. I want him to be able to have an emotional relationship as well as a physical one. The reason for feeling that this is an issue he has is because he's been 10 for a long time. I feel like he's just unwilling to move on, not unready.

[athousandmoons.livejournal.com]

You're posting this because you saw the responses to this post (http://community.livejournal.com/multiplicity/682062.html). That looks like a troll to me too.

=Key

[riseva.livejournal.com]

That's really not why I'm posting. I read that post, and the situation is completely different. I'm not concerned about my sex life..I'm concerned about Tony's maturity. Sorry if I've offended anyone.

[riseva.livejournal.com]

No, no offense was taken. I realize I worded the post a bit poorly .. I'm not going to set him up until he's ready. The thing is, as I've said, he's identified as ten for many years. I feel like he just doesn't want to come to terms with sexual feelings, possibly because he's denying something, like homosexual feelings. I guess just talking to him is a good idea, though. I just don't want to freak him out.

[cirape.livejournal.com]

While I'm fairly positive that you are either a troll or intent on not listening to us say 'he's not ready for sex' I feel that it would be wise to post the following statement. A lot of people need to know it.

Sex does not equal maturity.

[athousandmoons.livejournal.com]

Well said. :)

=Key

[raavah.livejournal.com]

um. i'm twelve. i have a sort of boyfriend thing. ...we don't have sex. sex would not make me grow up any faster, years do that. i'd much rather have him wait than to be his pedophilic boytoy. and he respects me enough to do so.

i think this guy who wants to "help" tony is a pervert. i don't think much better of you either.

ya....

[drakul-apollyon.livejournal.com]

I almost never comment here, but here's my deal... He's 10. Between the fact that he is emotionally 10 and your statement that "he might not be thrilled with it", why are you trying to find a way to force a 10 year old into a situation he doesn't want? Assuming your older than him, you should be talking with him as a adult to a youngling that needs help and advice dealing with growing up.. Not "trying to get him laid". Give him time and support, he'll get to a point were he wishes to indulge him self willingly. Till he does, be patient.

Drakul

[shadowsgroup.livejournal.com]

Even if he's just "emotionally" 10, he's TEN. I don't do stuff with my partner when he's age slid because a ten year old doesn't need sex and sex is not needed for an emotionally close relationship.

Like everyone else, I say that just because he's been that way for a long time doesn't mean he has to grow up. Some of us don't change age and if that means he won't be older than 10, then it's his choice. Just forcing him to "grow up" would damage him even more.

[angel13666.livejournal.com]

Our original is 6 years old. the body is 39. so means she has been 6 a long time. she wants to not grow up. I would never try to make her grow up or have sex. Our SO treats her as his child.. as it should be. for anyone to have sex with a 10 year old alter. they would be a child abuser. and you would be contributing to that abuse. the same kind of abuse that brought many of us here to having MPD. You need to get to know your people inside and maybe even relize you may not be the original. You may be a fill in host for the original. Also one thing to always remember this body we use is not OUr's. it belongs to all those who live inside. And sex does not make one grow up. I agree with the person who said that is how abusers think. Let the child be a child and buy him a firetruck or a ball.. let him be a kid. don't steal that away from him like so many of us had it stolen from us.
Reberto's family.

[our-dry-cellar.livejournal.com]

don't steal that away from him like so many of us had it stolen from us.

(I couldn't agree more.)

-K

[linnai.livejournal.com]

we have full blown adolescents and ADULTS here that choose not to partake in sexual activity.

It's NEVER EVER EVER ok to try and "help" someone to grow up by forcing them to do ANYTHING that they are truly against.

Besides that, how the hell would you know whether he was really gay and just pretending to be a homophobe or really gay OR REALLY HOMOPHOBIC.

Let the damn kid just BE. Sometimes people don't grow up "emotionally" because they CAN'T and it doesn't matter why they can't, just that they can't and no one has the right to force, coax, cajole or otherwise push him towards any one damn thing.

You might not like you got to share a body with a ten year old, but that's just the way it is.

[forever-alone.livejournal.com]

It's not your responsibility to get some else "laid."

[yukie1013.livejournal.com]

i'm 16; i don't think about it that much? that's supposed to be 'weird'.

some people do think about it. and thinking about it doesn't always mean 'ready', which you already know. :) and thinking about it doesn't make one slutty.

(society is utterly bent.. i think the original poster's ideas of 'growing up' proves that...)

what i'm trying to say is that everyone handles things in their own time, when they're ready.

you understand that, and that's amazing. you - sort of make me like people more. (i'm kind of a misanthrope. often.)

thanks. :)

-pyou

(i don't really have a smiling-icon, but erik says i squint this way when i'm happy. i'm happy now, so you get to have a squinting kitten icon. ;) )

[padawanagain.livejournal.com]

The youngest here is three and has been for 30 years. Should she be pressured to have sex too?

I'm with Lisa. HOLYWHATTHEFUCK?! I swear I'd kill the motherfucker whole laid a hand on my 10 year old for the same purpose.

[ex-suhina987.livejournal.com]

Sweetheart, anyone who tries to age our children with a good diddle is going to meet the business end of Pyramid Head's blade. Up their ass. Sideways.

Ditto on the holy fuck.

[crystalseraph.livejournal.com]

The more I read, the more I think this is a troll. Particularly after seeing this on sbtalk.

But it has generated some interesting ethical reactions, at least.

Matti (our newest, and only 12) took one look at this and went "bleeeeeeeeh"

XD

[hold-me-coldly.livejournal.com]

There are those here with MPD/DID, as well as functioning/"healthy" multiple systems who have suffered sexual trauma regardless. A post like this is very upsetting, disturbing, and suggests illegal acts. I would sincerely hope a moderator deals with this.

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

I have.

[yukie1013.livejournal.com]

leave him alone. he will 'grow up' (you cannot see if but i am making sardonic and obnoxious aerial quotes at you here) when he's ready.

if you rush him you're doing much more harm than good.

leave him alone.

-pyou

[cactus-guys.livejournal.com]

He's 10. Having another guy force sex on him, especially if he doesn't want it, is going to put him off sex with guys. It'll hurt him physically, hurt him emotionally, and is going to put him off same-gender relationships, if he sees everyone as rapists. If you want him to be less homophobic, try to lead by example without questioning his sexuality in the process. Show him that you don't have to be hetrosexual to be a decent person, show him that non-hetrosexual relationships are every bit as valid and loving as hetrosexual ones, and maybe then he'll think about himself a bit more and accept things. (How do you know he's gay, anyway?)

And be wary of the guy who's offered to rape him. You'd have to be pretty sick to rape a 10 year old. Are you sure he doesn't just see this as a cheap way of getting after your body?

Liam

[sethrenn.livejournal.com]

And be wary of the guy who's offered to rape him. You'd have to be pretty sick to rape a 10 year old. Are you sure he doesn't just see this as a cheap way of getting after your body?

Seconded. You'd be surprised how many people (both male and female) see multiplicity as a way of getting into someone's pants.

Or, well, maybe you wouldn't be surprised. I'm probably preaching to the choir here. But there are a certain number of people out there who will be willing to jump all over the body, because the body is all they see and care about-- it doesn't matter who's at the front; that's just a convenient excuse for them. (Or they see it as roleplaying out their fetishes-- i.e. there will be legal repercussions if they have sex with a physical 10-year-old, so they see this as the closest it gets.)

-Lilac

[ricktboy.livejournal.com]

You're a troll, but I'll say my piece anyway.

I'm 15. I live in a 27 year old body, but I'm an age slider, and spend most of my life at 8 years old.

When this body was 21, one of it's inhabitants' girlfriend molested me. That was horribly wrong, because regardless of my body's age, I AM NOT TWENTY SEVEN. I was definitely not ready for sex at eight, and it scarred me badly, and at fifteen, I'm still not ready. Maybe I never will be, maybe I'll be gay, maybe I'll be bisexual, maybe I'll be asexual for the rest of my life. I take it one day at a time, and no one in the pack tries to push me to have sex with anyone.

Now, I've said it, regardless of being horribly triggered by your post, and I feel bad, and my sympathies go out to Tony, because you're just as bad as Rick's ex was. Ten years old, mentally, emotionally, physically, is still ten years old. I don't give two shits how old you are, or how horny you are.

also? maybe it disturbs him that you have flings because he doesn't like sex in general. didja think of that?

cubbie
Pack Collective

[teh-kerry.livejournal.com]

I know the feeling, although it wasn't someone abusing this body when I was younger. It was way back when I was young, and unlucky enough to live with a guy with no idea of how to treat a kid, put it that way.

I know this community has a no-trigger-warnings-necessary rule (and rightly so; sticking trigger warnings everywhere would be a real pain) but can people try and remember that posts posted by prospective child abusers are pretty hard for some people?

I'm not saying we start sticking bloody asterisks in to blank out the vowels in words like 'cult' and 'Satan' and so on (because of course all multiplicity is caused by ritual abuse, naturally), but perhaps putting posts that say 'I want to rape my kid' behind a cut?

Thanks, Lynn xx

[delraith.livejournal.com]

.....

What the fuck?

FYI, what you're pulling here is piss poor parenting. Ever think he may just need friends he can grow up with? Go work at a afterschool program or something and let him interact with other kids through you.

Don't do this sex shit. If sex 'made' people grow up, (how to put this to not sound terrible, but then again this topic is... [or so he thinks]) the little in our group would be years ahead of all of us.

I find some of what you're posting completely repulsive, and ill-advised.

Yet we told you to possibly partake in a better course of action (if you aren't a troll that is).

On a slightly different tack...

[gharveyn.livejournal.com]

not sure what a troll is but sounds ugly, will have to learn more of the lingo used here...

But.

In our experience intimacy is far more important than sex, but very, very intimidating for some people. Maybe its not the sex per se that is the issue, but intimacy itself in whatever form it manifests.

If your 10 yr old has intimacy issues those issues probably need to be addressed first, they may be far more fundamental to his well-being, and maybe to your own well-being too.

Does he shy away from affection?

Is he emotionally isolated and lonely?

How can you build a healthy realtionship with him in which he can trust you?


Just some ideas, we can see why lots of people are jumping your case here. If you really thought you were doing something loving and nurturing for him then just maybe you had good intentions, and you will take everyone's advice to heart.

Unfortunately you came off sounding like you were trying to fix your own problem by doing something with your kid that might have been very inappropriate and harmful. Remember, he is real too... not just an inconvenience or something to be 'fixed'.

Re: On a slightly different tack...

[teh-kerry.livejournal.com]

A troll = someone who posts something deliberately stupid, inflammatory, etc. Often they know what effect this will have, and do it anyway.