We've been told this several times, the "if it was really bad, you don't talk about it," and "if people complain that their lives are bad, it means it can't be that bad, because people who had it really bad never tell you, you can only tell by the look in their eyes." It can never be that, say, you want to talk about it in order stop it from happening to someone else, or that you're trying to raise people's awareness of certain issues.