Coming out in a huge way "sit down, I have to tell you something" has had mixed results for us
That's actually why we decided to adopt a strategy of coming out semi-casually-- on the level that someone might say "oh, by the way, I'm gay." We came to feel that making a big, serious deal out of telling someone you're multiple perpetuates the impression that it's something shameful and unpleasant, nothing you can tell someone with pride and a smile. We are not ashamed of what we are.
The one problem is that people indoctrinated in crappy TV ideas of what multiplicity is, think that if we could admit to it that casually we 'must' be faking for attention, because 'real' multiples never tell you they are and they also can't ever figure out they're multiple on their own and they would never tell you so casually because everyone knows it's gasp such a horrible life-destroying illness! >< On the other hand, if someone's determined to hold that view of plurality, we think we'd rather not have them as a friend.
Though it does also depend on who you're coming out to, yes. We prefer to be casual when coming out with friends, but I can see how if we were ever forced to come out to an employer or relative, we might want to take it a little more seriously-- we'd just somehow want to convey in our manner that we don't see anything wrong with being how we are.
We have never had anyone outright call us a liar, but we have had some grow very standoffish and begin disconnecting from us, and continue to insist on calling us by whatever name they knew us by when they first met us. So yeah, we can say we've lost some friends over it-- just subtly, but it makes us sad all the same.
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That's actually why we decided to adopt a strategy of coming out semi-casually-- on the level that someone might say "oh, by the way, I'm gay." We came to feel that making a big, serious deal out of telling someone you're multiple perpetuates the impression that it's something shameful and unpleasant, nothing you can tell someone with pride and a smile. We are not ashamed of what we are.
The one problem is that people indoctrinated in crappy TV ideas of what multiplicity is, think that if we could admit to it that casually we 'must' be faking for attention, because 'real' multiples never tell you they are and they also can't ever figure out they're multiple on their own and they would never tell you so casually because everyone knows it's gasp such a horrible life-destroying illness! >< On the other hand, if someone's determined to hold that view of plurality, we think we'd rather not have them as a friend.
Though it does also depend on who you're coming out to, yes. We prefer to be casual when coming out with friends, but I can see how if we were ever forced to come out to an employer or relative, we might want to take it a little more seriously-- we'd just somehow want to convey in our manner that we don't see anything wrong with being how we are.
We have never had anyone outright call us a liar, but we have had some grow very standoffish and begin disconnecting from us, and continue to insist on calling us by whatever name they knew us by when they first met us. So yeah, we can say we've lost some friends over it-- just subtly, but it makes us sad all the same.