We're out to most of our friends, much of our family (mostly in-laws but some bio-family), and some of our coworkers. We intend to continue coming out in the future.
Coming out in a huge way "sit down, I have to tell you something" has had mixed results for us - usually a period of skepticism (not always) but as long as we've made the effort to keep doing regular stuff with whoever it is, it's calmed down. (Also to be as unflaky as possible - not perfect, but not miss appointments or stuff like that.)
Expecting people to automagically understand accept multiplicity is a lot to ask. So there are sometimes losses. The more matter of fact we've been it seems, the better it has tended to work out. Leading up to it helps too rather than dropping the bombshell, in our experience.
Overall I would say about 20-25% of people have not taken it well - about half of those have walked, and the other half pretty much pretend we never said anything.
However what we have gained is a much more authentic voice and a way to stop - well - lying to people, or covering up things we think they might find "weird." And in the long run so, so much more energy and joy has come into our lives.
With your husband - that is hard, but I'm sure he doesn't understand how hurtful it was or he wouldn't have done it. I suspect what he's saying is "I see you as fully competent and wonderful." Keep talking to him and hope he does start to get it.
no subject
Coming out in a huge way "sit down, I have to tell you something" has had mixed results for us - usually a period of skepticism (not always) but as long as we've made the effort to keep doing regular stuff with whoever it is, it's calmed down. (Also to be as unflaky as possible - not perfect, but not miss appointments or stuff like that.)
Expecting people to automagically understand accept multiplicity is a lot to ask. So there are sometimes losses. The more matter of fact we've been it seems, the better it has tended to work out. Leading up to it helps too rather than dropping the bombshell, in our experience.
Overall I would say about 20-25% of people have not taken it well - about half of those have walked, and the other half pretty much pretend we never said anything.
However what we have gained is a much more authentic voice and a way to stop - well - lying to people, or covering up things we think they might find "weird." And in the long run so, so much more energy and joy has come into our lives.
With your husband - that is hard, but I'm sure he doesn't understand how hurtful it was or he wouldn't have done it. I suspect what he's saying is "I see you as fully competent and wonderful." Keep talking to him and hope he does start to get it.
Shandra