I'm not anti-integration at all. My take is that should be a matter of personal choice for every system. What I do think is that integration may be a lot more difficult than it's portrayed as being in all the books, movies, etc-- the most believable description we've read is that you have to basically re-train your thought processes so that you respond as one rather than as many; as opposed to the idea that, say, all someone has to do is reveal a traumatic memory and they'll automatically be merged with someone else.

However, that doesn't stop me from thinking that it's a valid goal, if agreed to be the goal by the whole group.

The whole... deciding that another system is a faker/attention-seeker/delusional/etc thing (or, even if genuinely multiple, are very misguided and confused) if they work too differently from you is something I've seen, though, and I agree, gets really frustrating. I've actually noticed a tendency towards it in some of the older writings I did online about multiplicity, which is a bit embarassing. But... live and learn, I guess.