Which do you mean, when you ask is "this" normal? You mean the one you loved disappearing because he apparently wasn't needed any more? Or your feelings about his being gone? (In either case, yes these things are "normal" in that they have happened to other people before -- I think this is part of what you're really asking.) Stop worrying about offending people. These are all legitimate questions and you have as much right to ask them as anybody else.
I would want to ask: Have you talked about this to the fellow who was doing the hosting? How did he view your friend -- as a split-off part of himself (you mentioned "coping"), as a walk-in, or some other kind of separate person, a spirit visitor, etc.
How does he describe your friend's departure? Does he have a sense that this man has departed, as in, is gone someplace else, absent, no longer there? Or does he say something like "I feel like [name] is still here, he's part of me"? (which is more like integration)
How did your friend feel about you? Did he love you or just a friend? Did he maybe think you wouldn't miss him, or was it not his choice to leave?
If it's a true integration chances are very good that the man you care about will be back. From everything we've read and seen online and off, most integrations don't usually last. (We've seen 2 that did)
If he really is departed, absent, etc., he might also come back. We've had people leave and come back weeks, months or years later, and we've heard this from other people. The problem is you don't know how long it will take. It wouldn't be a good idea to put your life on hold waiting for him unless you're sure he was Mr. Right and no one else could ever mean as much to you -- you know. But if it was me, I'd be patient for a while and see if he did come back. Don't noodge the man who was hosting for him too much, but ask him if it is possible to kind of send out a message (to I don't know -- the cosmos? wherever your friend has gone?) that just says "[name] I love you, I miss you & I hope to see you again."
Plus the guy who was hosting for him might miss him too and try to call him back.
Love is love. It doesn't matter whether he is (or was) in a shared body with someone else or not -- he is a person and you care about him. It's a very sad thing to have happen, him disappearing like that.
(Note: I am not against integration, none of us are, what we are against is the idea that being multiple is always a thing that is sick and multiples are required to integrate to be healthy.)
no subject
I would want to ask: Have you talked about this to the fellow who was doing the hosting? How did he view your friend -- as a split-off part of himself (you mentioned "coping"), as a walk-in, or some other kind of separate person, a spirit visitor, etc.
How does he describe your friend's departure? Does he have a sense that this man has departed, as in, is gone someplace else, absent, no longer there? Or does he say something like "I feel like [name] is still here, he's part of me"? (which is more like integration)
How did your friend feel about you? Did he love you or just a friend? Did he maybe think you wouldn't miss him, or was it not his choice to leave?
If it's a true integration chances are very good that the man you care about will be back. From everything we've read and seen online and off, most integrations don't usually last. (We've seen 2 that did)
If he really is departed, absent, etc., he might also come back. We've had people leave and come back weeks, months or years later, and we've heard this from other people. The problem is you don't know how long it will take. It wouldn't be a good idea to put your life on hold waiting for him unless you're sure he was Mr. Right and no one else could ever mean as much to you -- you know. But if it was me, I'd be patient for a while and see if he did come back. Don't noodge the man who was hosting for him too much, but ask him if it is possible to kind of send out a message (to I don't know -- the cosmos? wherever your friend has gone?) that just says "[name] I love you, I miss you & I hope to see you again."
Plus the guy who was hosting for him might miss him too and try to call him back.
Love is love. It doesn't matter whether he is (or was) in a shared body with someone else or not -- he is a person and you care about him. It's a very sad thing to have happen, him disappearing like that.
(Note: I am not against integration, none of us are, what we are against is the idea that being multiple is always a thing that is sick and multiples are required to integrate to be healthy.)
Nick