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multiplicity_archives2006-11-23 01:13 pm
annabellelaw.livejournal.com) wrote in multiplicity_archives2006-11-23 01:13 pm
Entry tags:
Just in case you were wondering
****Erm... I posted this once but I think my computer ate it. If I do it twice by mistake please detete whichever one is best to delete, sorry****
Well things for me have been difficult recently. Carrie & I broke up, though she is still marrying Ash, so that was odd. It was painful. I think we might be back together but I'm not quite sure how things stand, so we might not be. It wasn't anything bad that caused us to split up, and I still love her, which is painful to see her and be next to her but no to be loved back, but she decided that we were just too different & incompatible.
The pain caused me to try to 'Go Away' which was scary and made me even sadder, but thanks to some friends I didn't, but as a side-effect Ash & I did kind of merge Sunday morning briefly. I'm not sure if it was true integration or if it was blending or if he ended up temporarily with some of my memories or personality traits or what but it was scary for him & Carrie and I have no memory of that period apart from his memories so I don't quite know what's happened.
When I was trying to go away Ash found that his tact & libido disapeared with me... maybe that's the part of us that I control, like he's all self-confidence I'm all sex-on-legs (LOL).
I'm still feeling kind of fragile and uncertain right now so ash is feeling some of the side effects of that including disasocciation and odd mental blanks and headaches and things but it seems to be getting better. While things are uncertain I don't want to push Carrie into making a rushed desiscion on our relationship, so I think we just need time. I'm looking forward to the wedding, and am excited about it for them, though hanging around our parents is always tough for me :(
Freddie, thank you for the worry dolls!
*x-posted to my own LJ*
I'm going to cross-post this to the Multiplicity LJ, though it is full of mad people who annoy me (rolls eyes) as well as wonderful caring people (smiley) and sometimes they share the same body!
Well things for me have been difficult recently. Carrie & I broke up, though she is still marrying Ash, so that was odd. It was painful. I think we might be back together but I'm not quite sure how things stand, so we might not be. It wasn't anything bad that caused us to split up, and I still love her, which is painful to see her and be next to her but no to be loved back, but she decided that we were just too different & incompatible.
The pain caused me to try to 'Go Away' which was scary and made me even sadder, but thanks to some friends I didn't, but as a side-effect Ash & I did kind of merge Sunday morning briefly. I'm not sure if it was true integration or if it was blending or if he ended up temporarily with some of my memories or personality traits or what but it was scary for him & Carrie and I have no memory of that period apart from his memories so I don't quite know what's happened.
When I was trying to go away Ash found that his tact & libido disapeared with me... maybe that's the part of us that I control, like he's all self-confidence I'm all sex-on-legs (LOL).
I'm still feeling kind of fragile and uncertain right now so ash is feeling some of the side effects of that including disasocciation and odd mental blanks and headaches and things but it seems to be getting better. While things are uncertain I don't want to push Carrie into making a rushed desiscion on our relationship, so I think we just need time. I'm looking forward to the wedding, and am excited about it for them, though hanging around our parents is always tough for me :(
Freddie, thank you for the worry dolls!
*x-posted to my own LJ*
I'm going to cross-post this to the Multiplicity LJ, though it is full of mad people who annoy me (rolls eyes) as well as wonderful caring people (smiley) and sometimes they share the same body!