and I do consider them to be my family; I take my brotherhood with Rob seriously, and I love our relatives, too.

That's a really neat bond of allegiance. It's nice to hear about.

Just fronting in my grandmother's house has my heart pounding, and while it's novel to actually feel it, I really hate the fear. And I hate taking time off my personal growth for a holiday, it feels like backsliding.

Congrats on being able to actually feel it and for the new conversation. It seems that you didnt take time off from personal growth for this holiday at least. ;)