first post to both Live Journal and to this group

[skylarksoaring.livejournal.com]

This is my first post to this group, as well as to Live Journal and I must confess to being a little bewildered. I've no clue as to what the protocols are or how people interact here.

I do have a specific question that I need help with, however, and would appreciate any advice or comments.

I have what used to be called polyfragmented high-functioning MPD, though the term these days is DID. Although I've been in therapy since I was 10 (I'm 66) and diagnosed correctly, finally, since 1989, I'm just now reaching the point where I can directly deal with some of what was possibly cult abuse that occurred between the ages of 3.75 and 7.5 years old.

All of the material I've read so far talks in terms of visual memories. I have no visual memories but experience the flashbacks of what happened to me kinesthetically. In fact there are no people at all in my memories before college. Only empty rooms, seen out of the corner of my eye. Are there any resources you suggest that might be helpful in dealing with this? I'm lucky enough to be working with a fabulous therapist - Dr. James Chu - so I do have primary support.

Comments

[catskillmarina.livejournal.com]

Welcome to the group !

In therapy since you were 10 - that is 56 years
wow ! Long time ;-)

first post to both Live Journal and to this group

[skylarksoaring.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm still here.

first suicide thoughts were in fifth grade and first attempt was at 17. Diagnosed as borderline schizophrenic in college, but have managed to support myself and have never been hospitalized. Assagioli's sub-personality theory was what brought the system to conscious awareness in the early 80s, went looking for help around that and finally found Dr. Chu in 1989. still, its only recently that i've been able to structure my environment to make it safe to do more than just hang on - i'd go for months without seeing Dr. Chu, keeping everything locked down, in order to survive economically. economic survival was key above everything. now we are much more collaborative and cooperative. Mon-Thurs are owned by my job, but Fri-Sun is ours.

Re: first post to both Live Journal and to this group

[catskillmarina.livejournal.com]

Sounds like you had a hard time of things in your life with incorrect diagnosis
and with a mental health system that was not so sophisticated as it is now.

Many of us here in this group take a non-medical view of multiplicity. Frankly
i credit this group and ksol1460 's website with keeping us on a
positive tack with this stuff. Check out http://www.astraeasweb.net/plural/faq.shtml.

My companion realized she was multi around 20 years ago and she told NOONE til
last year when she told us because it was obvious we shared the same experience.
I will say you are brave to come out as well.

Sorry to all if we sound disjointed - should be in bed now - have a nasty chest
cold.

Re: first post to both Live Journal and to this group

[skylarksoaring.livejournal.com]

"Sounds like you had a hard time of things in your life with incorrect diagnosis
and with a mental health system that was not so sophisticated as it is now."

True, but I've also been very lucky in my work with Dr. Chu. Also, as two of my Buddhist teachers have commented, I'm a warrier. Also lucky in my boss and in two very special long-term friends.

Thanks for responding and do get to bed. That's where I'm heading.

Re: first post to both Live Journal and to this group

[catskillmarina.livejournal.com]

Buddhist teachings directly and through DBT helped us a lot.