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It seems that we function even more different than other multiples here than we originally thought, as we have not been able to give any feedback to other posts recently. Take the matter of relationships for example, which have been taken into discussion over the last couple of days in several posts. We have never seen it as possible to have a close relationship, as we are too close together to accept certain tastes in genders. Once we tried to come to a solution by voting, but that left us in the wrong kind of physical form ourselves! So we have remained asexual, as that was the best way to keep everyone in control. Perhaps we can't involve ourselves because of our way of existing as one united mind, but is there none of you who have decided to refrain from using their physical form intimately?

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I have a few in my syste who are hesitant about sexuality (either being too young or being men, and thus uncomfortable expressing themselves sexually in a female body) but not everyone in my system is involved with my husband or any of my lovers, nor am I neccessarily involved with theirs. My husband and I are polyamorous and so we encourage each other to seek other relationships and we do the same for the others in our systems (we're also both multiple, which makes things a bit easy on the understanding end as well.)

We're the same. We forgo the whole sexuality question or the issue of dating. There are a few who are slightly interested in the idea, but overall its not that big of a topic to really have us put forth the effort.

for this time being, we decide to keep the body single.
there are internal relationship(s), and while it would be more externally acceptable to have an outside partner, from experience it brings more trouble than good.. some of us are really possessive, not even mention the disagreement over the criterias/requirements of a 'suitable' partner

in all, the decision mostly lies to the one who would have to interact with the partner, and at this point, the frontrunner is not looking for an outside relationship :)

Our body is absolutely single. It has nothing to do with being a group, though. Our creator gave up on dating before we all got here. Her reason? She says she's pickier than she can afford to be. When you lack social skills, physical attractiveness, and status, you pretty much have to take what you can get. She's not willing to do that. Sure, we could at least try, but we've decided that it's not worth the hassle. We're not satisfied with the amount of free time that we have, anyway; we're not about to waste it on trying to land a mate. We'd rather read webcomics, develop things in Midnight Blue, work on our LJ, etc.

Besides (and this observation might resonate with you in some way), relationships in reality will never excite us as much as those which we imagine.

-- Kara and Zoe

I have so decided.

The impossible with finding a suitable partner for us is mainly because of our constantly split awareness of everything that happens, so a relationship could never just involve a few of us. Something which can be both a blessing and a curse, as there is no private issues between ourselves. We had to remove any secrets to be able to function as a whole, and that leaves us with many rather different opinions to try to live with at once. Complicated, but works as long as we don't get out too often.

Those among us mainly concerned with dealing with practical issues are rather perfectionistic, so we can understand having tastes too picky to satisfy. And reality can truly never become as vastly amazing as the imaginary, no matter what one tries to accomplish within it.

You only mention some of you who decides to refrain from intimacy, your physical form has still been involved with your husband and your lovers. We never accepted anything such, even when young we left ourselves apart from others. We've continued to be without any relationships with any of us, as we cannot exist as anything else than equals within our mind. If one would get a partner, the others would start making similar demands. And we can never risk the damage that could do to our inner balance, so we remain physically untouched.

Indeed. With so many inside, interacting intimately with singlets from the outside could just as well do more harm than good. As the majority of us have accepted a genderless existance, it's easier to leave such interaction to the rest of humanity.

Wisely chosen.

Well if it works for you, that's what's important. :-)

I did want to pick up on something you said in the comments above - that it wouldn't be fair if some people can have relationships while others don't. I can see your solution but for us we have found that accepting that things aren't fair is really important - not everyone can have everything everyone else has, all the time. What we try to do is make things ok for everyone but what "ok" is is different for each person. To me, multiplicity is inherently unfair.

I like hugs

Well, there's always been a sense of perfectionism about ourselves, so we guess we try to achieve a level of harmony which we cannot find outside of our mind. The only negative part we feel is that many of us have been forced to give up much of their individuality for us to be able to share our physical form at the same time. That would be the only unfair part of ourselves, as some had a really hard time adapting to existing as one shared consiousness. Hmm, we guess this method of merging ourselves once was an attempt to become "sane", as we had no idea that we actually were naturally multiple. But with time it's grown into a sense of diplomacy between ourselves, as we can react rather quickly to situations by deciding as one mind. To explain how our "diplomacy" functions on a deeper basis would take a lot of words, so we'll leave it at that.
It works for us, as said before.

*sigh* Yeah, we guess we can't deny the importance of those. Sometimes it's hard to be scientific about ourselves, but we hope that it's worth the absence. If not... well, then we are in for some chaos between ourselves, for sure. If emotion wins, then there will be a lot of emotions wanting to get out at once. And as we can't switch off any of us directly, we'll likely lose all united control of our physical form for a long time. *brr* Scary.

Meera tells me I should always do what I am comfortable with. she says it makes me honest with my heart. Love Bastion

Да. Но мы реально не говорим Russion.

Meera is right, Bastion. Never let lies become part of your existance. We just can't let everyone out at different times, as that would make some of us very lonely. Some would never dare to be alone in this body, so there could never be a fair distribution of time. When we think about it, we don't even know even close to how many we are. Hmm, perhaps this is much more comfortable for us than splitting us could ever be.
Just have to find a reasonable way of still getting hugs then, and we'll be perfectly fine. Toodles.

I'm not sure I quite get it, given being polyamorous, we're all bound by the same rules as far as relationships go, and thus equal. Those who choose not to express themselves sexually do so either because of their age or because they have qualms with our body's gender, but those who choose to have a partner (or more) can do so as long as they adhere to the same rules as everyone else (most of which concern safety.)
I fail to see how this arrangement doesn't provide equality, nor do I see how it could damage inner balance. If anything, your arrangement would, in our circumstances, cause harm as many within this system require physical intimacy for one reason or another (the most extreme of which being a "succubus" for lack of a better term.)

i dont have a relationship using the body here. i have one when im not using the body. back where we live in our inner world or realm or dimension or whatever shit you wanta call it. not everyone believes in that shit like other dimensions or whatever but i live there so. my girl shay and our buns. one big happy family. ha ha. outie

at one point we decided that and for many years the ex hubby got none:) Then, we met our current fiance, and one of our numbers broke that decision. It turns out that she was wise and correct in her decision and we are now very happy. I think each person has a corresponding person and when you find that person you will know. I know it sounds romantic or idealistic but for me, the second I met my fiance I knew I had found the right person. He is the only person I could ever imagine myself with intimately. Even my ex hubby, in 9 years of being married, only got 'it' 8 times. Most of those were out of pity... one was because one of my numbers thought it was a good idea to have another baby...

mm ^^; we had.. um, I had relationships with other fellow multiples. the change from 'we' to 'I' pretty much explains it ^^; some of the members hates the other system's members and vice versa, but they generally gave ways.. sort of.

I think if in the future we're (as in the body) going to have another outside relationship, it will be with a singleton. posing outwardly as a singleton -at this point, we might be just jaded, really- is easier than to mend feuds between two systems >.> (if we're lucky, we might find a singleton that doesn't mind, but either way it's fine)

that.. if we ever get around the sheer posessiveness some members here have, of course... *rollseyes*

- Oz (aka the previously mentioned current frontrunner)

That's really interesting. We have gotten more cooperative and share more time, etc., but our individuality is something we tend to fiercely defend. We also believe that part of respecting our shared space is to use our body to experience all kinds of things like the sun on our face etc. etc. - that it was intended as a source of connection and pleasure, as well as something we are responsible to care for. So that's how we negotiate the physical things - does it respect us? does it respect the body?

It is really neat to hear how other ways work too. :)

The girls here use it. If people want to use it then they can. It was a problem at one point because the partner was monogamous, but he's pretty open now, so as long as it's all safe and within rules, people get to do as they want.

You could always just hug people at random. It's fun to see people's responses, and it's a Hell of a way to make new friends.

Generally, it's not a problem just because of the simplicity of our existence. As far as I know, I'm the only one here capable of physical intimacy, and the only real problem presented with being in a relationship is that Umbrian Reiori and Jack tend to focus their malice on my girlfriend, which in all honesty is potentially very dangerous, but I've gotten quite a bit more control over them in recent years (or perhaps just getting out of high school cut out a bunch of stress sources; sometimes right before big projects are due at the uni, they pipe up again), and their outbursts have decreased sunstantially.

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