We have problems as well, but we are in a monogamous relationship with a male. We have bi/straight/gay/not interested males and females inside. Our rule is that anybody (of legal age) is welcome to have 'relations' provided they let the outside male know who they are, what they want to do, and have his agreeance beforehand. Of course, there are also limits on what can and can not be done - for example nothing that will make others too uncomfortable to face the outside male the next day, is permitted, and so forth.

Unfortunately, it does not work perfectly. With a system well over 400 (and counting) things get messy. There is always someone who does not obey the rules - or who does not get to do what they want, because the outside male disagrees or it is against our rules. Despite all that we do have it down pat and it rarely causes a large problem anymore.

We wish you luck in solving things for yourselves!