being a singular in a relationship with someone who is not (or rather, is singular, just happens to share a body with a bunch of other singulars), i feel qualified to offer you some help where i can :D 1. What can I do for him in ways of support to make him feel safe and secure when we talk? just be there for him. keep talking to him, tell him you love him, you care for him, and try to work out his problems with him. safety and security is something that is built up naturally over time.
2. If an alter comes out while we are talking (especially the violent ones), how can I bring my friend back in with out bringing harm to him? what i do when someone other than meye (the amazing lady of the picture) is at front is, i talk with them. ask them how they are, whats going on, etc. if someone is around, it;s because they have a right to be, and they want to excersize that right. as for violent people, i'd still talk to them. instead of directly asking why they're violent, i'd just ignore the question and begin a friendship with them. after all, most violent/antisocial people are just troubled people with noone to talk to about it.
3, How can I assure him that this isnt going to scare me away, and that I love him no matter what? He has lost so much because of his MPD... I dont want to be another person.. He has tried to push me away out of fear, and I havent left. He has always come back glad that I havent left. Even relieved. keep not leaving. keep being there for him. again, his trust is something that will take some time to build.
4. Is there a way that he can become stronger or less weak untill he can actually get to a therapist? i'm not a very good athority on in-system problems, seeing how my system is only one person (and i like him very much :D *gives myself a hug* ahem anyway) but as far as dealing out here "in the 3-d", just keep being there for him. let him see that youa re a rock that he can always rest on, a sympathetic ear that he can always tell his troubles to. it won't help much, granted, but maybe it will plug the floodgates for a bit. also, be careful about therapists. i agree that if he's becoming violent, he should see one asap, but most therapists are kindof dumb on the subject of multiplicity.
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1. What can I do for him in ways of support to make him feel safe and secure when we talk?
just be there for him. keep talking to him, tell him you love him, you care for him, and try to work out his problems with him. safety and security is something that is built up naturally over time.
2. If an alter comes out while we are talking (especially the violent ones), how can I bring my friend back in with out bringing harm to him?
what i do when someone other than meye (the amazing lady of the picture) is at front is, i talk with them. ask them how they are, whats going on, etc. if someone is around, it;s because they have a right to be, and they want to excersize that right. as for violent people, i'd still talk to them. instead of directly asking why they're violent, i'd just ignore the question and begin a friendship with them. after all, most violent/antisocial people are just troubled people with noone to talk to about it.
3, How can I assure him that this isnt going to scare me away, and that I love him no matter what? He has lost so much because of his MPD... I dont want to be another person.. He has tried to push me away out of fear, and I havent left. He has always come back glad that I havent left. Even relieved.
keep not leaving. keep being there for him. again, his trust is something that will take some time to build.
4. Is there a way that he can become stronger or less weak untill he can actually get to a therapist?
i'm not a very good athority on in-system problems, seeing how my system is only one person (and i like him very much :D *gives myself a hug* ahem anyway) but as far as dealing out here "in the 3-d", just keep being there for him. let him see that youa re a rock that he can always rest on, a sympathetic ear that he can always tell his troubles to. it won't help much, granted, but maybe it will plug the floodgates for a bit.
also, be careful about therapists. i agree that if he's becoming violent, he should see one asap, but most therapists are kindof dumb on the subject of multiplicity.
anyways hope i helped *hugs*