Peer pressure and multiplicity

After some comments in a few recent threads, I was thinking about the issue of peer-pressure as it relates to multiple systems, and people feeling that their systems/groups/etc "should" be a certain way simply because other people's are.

Have people felt inadequate for having 'too few' people in their systems, or for not having a world or a place where they go when they're not fronting-- that they're 'not multiple enough'? (Or, conversely, depending on where you go, for having too many people or too large a subjective world?)

I know that during the time when the MPD/DID model was the only game in town, a lot of ideas about "what MPD is" derived from the media or from highly influential cases, and a lot of what seemed to be standard or universal aspects of multiplicity were actually the result of patients being told that "everyone has (x)" or being surrounded by other patients who did. If you're pressured for long enough and told "but every multiple has an ISH," eventually you're going to fabricate one just to end the demands, and even believe in it if you have to, if you're sufficiently invested in the doctor continuing to take you seriously.

I don't believe this is going on to the same degree as it was during that time, but the fact that I see people asking questions like "I think there are more people in my system, how do I find them?" fairly regularly makes me wonder why they think there are undiscovered others, and if they're basing it off their own evidence or on the numbers they see in other systems. Or "where is our internal world"-- same deal. (This also works in reverse-- that is to say, attempting to change your system because you think it's 'too weird'; you might want to be careful who you tell about it if you think that's the case, but we've certainly seen the messes which can be left to clean up if you try to bend someone too far.)

I tend to agree with [livejournal.com profile] spookshow_girl's comment that trying to force your system to be something it isn't (as distinct from agreed-upon, cooperative change) is an unwise idea. I know there's still the widespread perception that high numbers mean you're "more multiple" than if there are two or three of you, thanks to ideas about "degrees of fragmentation" (and a way to prove you suffered if more abuse = higher numbers). It's a perception I wish I could erase, and in any case, trying to increase the head count often seems to lead to nothing more than labelling someone's separate moods as new people. Trying to change one's system because you feel it 'should' be a certain way, and not because everyone involved wants to work towards change, rarely produces any good results, if the cases I've seen are any indication.

[identity profile] ksol1460.livejournal.com 2005-08-30 05:53 am (UTC)(link)
Maybe this would make things more clear.

http://www.karitas.net/pavilion/library/articles/s_sbsense_ast0802.html

When I wrote this, I meant that people who have got soulbonds that take the front could regard themselves in the same situation as a small multiple group and have system management to be responsible. Maybe it is not clearly worded enough.

I always thought that if you had soulbonds who didn't take the front, that was plain soulbonding; if your soulbonds did take the front, it was more like a small communicating multiple group. We used to say "a group whose members were soulbonded in".
laurenthemself: Rainbow rose with words 'love as thou wilt' below in white lettering (Default)

[personal profile] laurenthemself 2005-08-30 11:22 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, now I definitely feel 'not multiple enough'.

[identity profile] pengke.livejournal.com 2005-08-31 02:19 am (UTC)(link)
Why? So you're not multiple. That doesn't mean you can't contribute to the community.

[identity profile] ksol1460.livejournal.com 2005-09-01 10:30 am (UTC)(link)
That's just the way we think of it. Your mileage may vary! I know a girl who would have one (1) frontrunner for years at a time while the others contributed from behind the scenes but did not take the body usually. Then she'd "retire" for a while and another would be frontrunner.

Define yourself& by your own lights and not by ours or another's.

[identity profile] echoesnspectres.livejournal.com 2005-08-31 05:09 am (UTC)(link)
You say "singlets, medians and plurals" in that article; shouldn't that be "singlets, medians and multiples"?

Re: Out of curiousity

[identity profile] echoesnspectres.livejournal.com 2005-08-31 08:25 pm (UTC)(link)
Because on a lot of websites that go into word definitions, "plural" is used as the umbrella term for more than one mind per body, and includes both "multiple" (totally separate people) and "median" (neither multiple nor singleton), and if we understand the article correctly, sometimes soulbonding as well. It was our understanding that medians are plural but not multiple.

[identity profile] ksol1460.livejournal.com 2005-09-01 10:28 am (UTC)(link)
You are right; I will have to fix that. Thank you.