We've been hanging around the fringes of the multiple community, online and off, for 12 years, and been directly involved in it for 4. What I've noticed over the course of the past five years is an increasing trend toward self-definition, and acceptance of multiples who are self-defined, who came to their conclusions about themselves without a therapist or a diagnosis. Ten years ago, it would have been virtually unthinkable for someone to suspect they were multiple and not go into therapy to remember and re-live the horrific memories which were surely buried within the most seemingly happy system, so that the alters could be integrated etc etc. You didn't just decide to accept that there were others and go on. That just wasn't done.
Maybe because we got exposed early on (age 13-14) to a glut of information describing the multiple experience as inevitably being one of sheer unlivable hell, it's a relief to us to see the shift towards relaxed acceptance. With such acceptance inevitably come groups who choose to run their systems in unusual ways or have 'quirky' (by general standards) self-definitions and ideas about themselves. I've had my share of 'oh, come on' moments with such people, but I've also had plenty of those moments with people in the MPD/DID model. The thing is, I've also reached the point where I'm more concerned about whether someone is getting along in the world at large, and able to cooperate with others, hold down a job, etc. to the best of their physical or neurological ability, than with whether I believe the things they say about their system or origins, or not.
It may be bullshit, but if that is the case, it is a kind I find much more tolerable than bullshit which involves pawning off all responsibility for living as a healthy group or person onto one's therapist.
There have always been, and will probably always be people playing at being multiple because they see it as a l33t kewl thing to do, or something that validates their suffering or their identity crisis, and I think some of the more extreme claims, especially those made casually, come from such people. Unfortunately, that's not something I can change. There are certainly times when I'll see a post and suspect that someone is bullshitting, or 'trying on' multiplicity as a new identity or phase the way some people go through a goth or pagan phase. It's the Internet, for crying out loud-- you can say you're anyone you want. Based on this alone, you naturally have to take everything with a little more salt than you would off-- I treat everyone at face value until proven wrong, but I always try to keep in the back of my head the possibility that they might not be what they say or appear.
My philosophy is that if the "weird thing" helps you live and be more functional in the world at large, go with it. You just might want to be careful about who you tell. I have always felt that it's a good policy to reveal information about yourself and your system in steps, based on how the other party has reacted to previous revelations. If you have unicorns in your system, you may not want to go sharing this fact with everybody. Not necessarily because they won't believe you, although you may also want to consider that factor, but because if you tell someone who thinks you're too nutty for your own good, you may find yourself forcibly pushed towards 'help' you don't want or need, and lose your rights if you resist. This, to me, is a much more pressing and dangerous concern than the possibility of being told 'oh, you're making that up.'
no subject
Maybe because we got exposed early on (age 13-14) to a glut of information describing the multiple experience as inevitably being one of sheer unlivable hell, it's a relief to us to see the shift towards relaxed acceptance. With such acceptance inevitably come groups who choose to run their systems in unusual ways or have 'quirky' (by general standards) self-definitions and ideas about themselves. I've had my share of 'oh, come on' moments with such people, but I've also had plenty of those moments with people in the MPD/DID model. The thing is, I've also reached the point where I'm more concerned about whether someone is getting along in the world at large, and able to cooperate with others, hold down a job, etc. to the best of their physical or neurological ability, than with whether I believe the things they say about their system or origins, or not.
It may be bullshit, but if that is the case, it is a kind I find much more tolerable than bullshit which involves pawning off all responsibility for living as a healthy group or person onto one's therapist.
There have always been, and will probably always be people playing at being multiple because they see it as a l33t kewl thing to do, or something that validates their suffering or their identity crisis, and I think some of the more extreme claims, especially those made casually, come from such people. Unfortunately, that's not something I can change. There are certainly times when I'll see a post and suspect that someone is bullshitting, or 'trying on' multiplicity as a new identity or phase the way some people go through a goth or pagan phase. It's the Internet, for crying out loud-- you can say you're anyone you want. Based on this alone, you naturally have to take everything with a little more salt than you would off-- I treat everyone at face value until proven wrong, but I always try to keep in the back of my head the possibility that they might not be what they say or appear.
My philosophy is that if the "weird thing" helps you live and be more functional in the world at large, go with it. You just might want to be careful about who you tell. I have always felt that it's a good policy to reveal information about yourself and your system in steps, based on how the other party has reacted to previous revelations. If you have unicorns in your system, you may not want to go sharing this fact with everybody. Not necessarily because they won't believe you, although you may also want to consider that factor, but because if you tell someone who thinks you're too nutty for your own good, you may find yourself forcibly pushed towards 'help' you don't want or need, and lose your rights if you resist. This, to me, is a much more pressing and dangerous concern than the possibility of being told 'oh, you're making that up.'