Are we really real?

[angel530.livejournal.com]

Please bear in mind that this is taken out of context but the essence of this side of the argument is here...

"The teachers decided that the patients had the major mental problem of believing that they had more than one personality. The goal of therapy should not be integrating the various personalities, but getting the patients over their false belief (delusion) that they had other personalities at all."

That really bothered me when I read it. If thats true then we don't realy exist... I don't know how to feel now.. but then which one of us is the 'real' one? I don't know what to think or feel about this now...

I'll probably write more in our personal journal later I'm just... hurt I guess. The others had said theyd seen things like that before but it doesnt seem to affect them so much, maybe its just because this is the first time I've read something like that... I dont know

Sorry to post again...

[angel530.livejournal.com]

But I could really do with some advice here...

This is also in our personal Journal so sorry for those that have seen it there

I never admit to being scared but I really am now...

Hayley's not coping at all and I can normally help her but she won't even let me do that now . I want her to ask her psych to hospitalize her but she's refusing saying she couldnt handle the loss of control and her friends need her. Kirsty's talking about integration, she doesnt mean it but shes saying it to scare and hurt Hayley and it's working! And on top of all that she feels she needs to be out 24/7 for her friends which she wouldnt cope with at all... She fights us the whole time to stay out just on the off chance her friends need her. She can barely even cope with herself. It's scaring me, its scaring the littles and thats just making things worse for her.. Im out of ideas now and I'm supposed to be able to look after her, im supposed to be able to protect her but I dont know how to anymore, is there anyway I can if shes just going to shut me out? Shes not even sleeping because when (and thats a big when!) she does sleep she leaves her phone on so shes woken up within minutes!

She knows herself that she wont be able to cope with this for long, shes going to crash, and soon... and I'm scared noone is going to be there for her when she does if only because shell still refuse to tell them so that she can still at least try and be there for them.. Yes I can force her to go in if I have to but im not sure thats the best thing to do because she kicks off it scares the littles and it makes everything worse.. I dont know... Im out of ideas...

What do I do?

Michael