You can be multiple without having DID, and a lot of people are. Check out Astraea's Web (http://www.astraeasweb.net/plural/) for more information and resources.
"it's always co-conscious, and i'm always still here."
Ummm... I think that's more the rule than the exception, hon. I'm "always still here" too - hey, where would I go? - we're all always here together, no matter who's got the helm. I don't always pay that much attention when one of my brothers is up, but I can if I want to; we don't shut each other out.
"the reason why i think i'm always the one fronting is because i never experience lost time or anything like that, and if someone else were fronting instead of me, wouldn't i not remember that days events and whatnot?"
Nope. That's a myth. A lot of people don't experience lost time or memory lapses.The only time I ever did was many years ago, when my one brother would get so scared and upset that I don't think he knew what he was doing either, and probably didn't remember it too clearly afterward.
"i've tried manual journaling, but nothing much came out of that; the one entry that was by someone else, i was co-conscious while she was writing, and i ended up scratching the whole thing out because i thought it was all in my head and was absurd."
That doesn't sound real encouraging to the writer, to have stuff scratched out because you saw it written. A thing to remember: it's her head too. LOL, my 'brother duathir actually described me that way on his Lj once: "she is the voice in my head". Well, actually we're the voices in each others' heads, and his twin (who rarely speaks) is the silence in both our heads.
Keeping journals is kind of a delicate balance between openness and privacy. There are a lot of times when I could say some things about duathir, especially concerning certain issues on which we disagree, but I don't, because I respect his wishes. There are certainly times he could say things about me that I wouldn't like, but he doesn't, out of respect. It's possible for us to not 'read over each others' shoulders', but it takes a deliberate effort.
"do you think they're the ones in control and just don't want to come out, for whatever reasons? if this is the case, i think they need to realize that it would help out so much and progress would be made if SOMEONE, ANYONE would come out completely, without me here at all."
Okay... WHY would it help? What progress would be made? I went and checked out your journal, by the way, and noted this entry (http://www.livejournal.com/users/rusted_love/16681.html#cutid1) - it seems pretty obvious that the person who wrote that entry isn't the same person who wrote this one (http://www.livejournal.com/users/rusted_love/18977.html?mode=reply). However, I'm getting the impression that you think someone else can just "come out and take over" to clean up the mess you've made. I hate to tell you, but it doesn't work that way. Others of your House can advise you not to do stupid, reckless, dangerous things, but they can't force you to not do them.
The other folk of your House may not be coming forward because of what you've been doing to the body. Seriously, you're asking a 4-to-6 year old to live in a body that's been drunk all the time and shooting up street drugs? You might be used to it, but the others probably aren't, and understandably may not want to subject themselves to that.
It's as perse says; if you want the others to come out, you've got to make it safe for them to do so. A toxic body isn't safe. An expectation that they fix everything for you isn't safe. And wanting them to come out in order to prove their existence to other people (your mother, your friends, your shrink, whoever) isn't safe either.
Anyway, I wish all of you the best of luck, and hope you get things worked out.
no subject
"it's always co-conscious, and i'm always still here."
Ummm... I think that's more the rule than the exception, hon. I'm "always still here" too - hey, where would I go? - we're all always here together, no matter who's got the helm. I don't always pay that much attention when one of my brothers is up, but I can if I want to; we don't shut each other out.
"the reason why i think i'm always the one fronting is because i never experience lost time or anything like that, and if someone else were fronting instead of me, wouldn't i not remember that days events and whatnot?"
Nope. That's a myth. A lot of people don't experience lost time or memory lapses.The only time I ever did was many years ago, when my one brother would get so scared and upset that I don't think he knew what he was doing either, and probably didn't remember it too clearly afterward.
"i've tried manual journaling, but nothing much came out of that; the one entry that was by someone else, i was co-conscious while she was writing, and i ended up scratching the whole thing out because i thought it was all in my head and was absurd."
That doesn't sound real encouraging to the writer, to have stuff scratched out because you saw it written. A thing to remember: it's her head too. LOL, my 'brother
Keeping journals is kind of a delicate balance between openness and privacy. There are a lot of times when I could say some things about
"do you think they're the ones in control and just don't want to come out, for whatever reasons? if this is the case, i think they need to realize that it would help out so much and progress would be made if SOMEONE, ANYONE would come out completely, without me here at all."
Okay... WHY would it help? What progress would be made? I went and checked out your journal, by the way, and noted this entry (http://www.livejournal.com/users/rusted_love/16681.html#cutid1) - it seems pretty obvious that the person who wrote that entry isn't the same person who wrote this one (http://www.livejournal.com/users/rusted_love/18977.html?mode=reply). However, I'm getting the impression that you think someone else can just "come out and take over" to clean up the mess you've made. I hate to tell you, but it doesn't work that way. Others of your House can advise you not to do stupid, reckless, dangerous things, but they can't force you to not do them.
The other folk of your House may not be coming forward because of what you've been doing to the body. Seriously, you're asking a 4-to-6 year old to live in a body that's been drunk all the time and shooting up street drugs? You might be used to it, but the others probably aren't, and understandably may not want to subject themselves to that.
It's as
Anyway, I wish all of you the best of luck, and hope you get things worked out.