My partner, who is really the only person in the known world to ever and still know "all" of me, often comments on how little other people know about me - and how close they feel they really are. People around me tend to think that we are extraordinarily close and intimate when in reality I am very intimate with them and they only know the barest surface of who I am.
I have found it easier, though, to live that way than to suffer rejection by trying to present sides and faces that are diametrically opposed to each other.
People tend to expect predictability and often equate that with dependability.
As for the strange haze with non-cohesive thoughts... I went through that directly before I came to know my alters. It's been a very bumpy ride in the 5+ years since then... and it is only within the last year that I've begun the often difficult process of growing up. For me, that has meant that the most functional child personality has taken front and is learning to deal. I switch far less and when I do it doesn't last nearly as long. Everyone else is still "here", but not as needed as they once were.
I'm still depressed and I still take meds for that, but my coping mechanisms are much better and the amount of brokenness I feel is much much less.
Having a competent therapist can help tremendously - esp one who doesn't view your diagnosis as "the problem" but simply an aspect of who you [collective] are.
no subject
I have found it easier, though, to live that way than to suffer rejection by trying to present sides and faces that are diametrically opposed to each other.
People tend to expect predictability and often equate that with dependability.
As for the strange haze with non-cohesive thoughts... I went through that directly before I came to know my alters. It's been a very bumpy ride in the 5+ years since then... and it is only within the last year that I've begun the often difficult process of growing up. For me, that has meant that the most functional child personality has taken front and is learning to deal. I switch far less and when I do it doesn't last nearly as long. Everyone else is still "here", but not as needed as they once were.
I'm still depressed and I still take meds for that, but my coping mechanisms are much better and the amount of brokenness I feel is much much less.
Having a competent therapist can help tremendously - esp one who doesn't view your diagnosis as "the problem" but simply an aspect of who you [collective] are.