[identity profile] clsa.livejournal.com
Some times I feel like there will be a moment where everyone will collectively crack a wide smile and bow, going "Tadaa! We're not really strange after all, but we sure had you fooled, yeah?" and I'll be the only one left, with that everlasting feeling as though I've somehow missed the bigger picture and brought this all upon myself.
[identity profile] kaesesandwiche.livejournal.com
... but a crappy intro, cuz I'm shit at defining myself. I'm August. I'm 23, kind of, exept for I'm a vampire so maybe I'm a shit ton older than that. I suck at figuring out how to explain ages when you're multiple anyway. I curse too much an Im horibly dyslexic AND I suck at spelling/gramar/language in general so SORRY in advance. I'm the 'gatekeeper' or whatever you want to call it for our hours. I run things, only i'm an anarchist (an so's a lot but not all of my headmates) so it is less 'running' and more 'reluctintly accepting that our brain somewhy gave me extra power/authority over the others that i dun realy want and try to use as little as possible so we can stick to doing things consensusfuly'.

(Thankfully we're moving out of the apartment we shares with them next month, moving out of the entire city actully, and a MAJOR part of the reason is cuz we can. not. live. with. them. anymore without many in our sistem wanting to shoot them or maybe ourselfs, but still I dunno how to deel with this issue.)


Apr. 30th, 2007 08:05 am
[identity profile] brightflashes.livejournal.com
It has almost been a decade since I even thought about being a multiple or having DID to begin with, but the topic keeps coming up in my life lately. I'd just as soon forget all about it, but something is nagging at me to learn more about my past experiences (perhaps my near-fullterm pregnancy). I'm hoping that this community can help shed light onto whatever I went through when I possibly had multiple personality disorder.

What triggered me to join this community is the seething anger I experienced recently at the hands of someone's alter. I had recently made friends with someone who revealed to me eventually that she was a multiple. I found so much in common with her that I started to share with her my past experiences. She instantly invalidated that I ever even had such experiences, said that I was lying for attention more or less, and one of her multiples started to attack me passive-aggressive style saying things to invalidate that I ever had the disorder and convincing mutual friends that I was just trying to win at the "who can have more problems" game which was totally untrue.

Read more... )
[identity profile] liferain.livejournal.com
I'm not really sure why I'm posting this.. Perhaps as a way to get it off my chest.

Today I had my first encounter with a "skeptic," and even though it was on the Internet (on LJ in fact), I still care deeply about what people think of me. In this case, someone had asked a question about "imaginary friends" and I stated that the only thing close to it that I ever had was Vi (though she's not imaginary, obviously) and my psychosis-related hallucinations. Someone jumped in and asked if Vi was my only "alter," to which I said yes, and they replied with: "Your only alter huh? Not only is DID exceedingly rare, it's unheard of to only have one alter. And there are no hallucinations to it. Do some more research next time you feign illness for the internet attention."

I must say that I was shaken by that. Something that is a major part of my life, and someone doesn't trust my integrity? I replied that I don't have a diagnosis of DID/MPD, and that Vi is possibly more related to my psychosis, and that person hasn't responded yet. But, even so, I am still shaken. Am I going to have to keep Vi a secret (which I have done enough of) from the world to avoid getting my feelings hurt? How do I deal with this, when I care so much about what people think of me?

(Sorry to dump this on you all, but I figured it'd be the best place for it)
[identity profile] rhymer-713.livejournal.com
Every one in this community, or almost every one I'm sure has told some one they were multiple. And I'm sure the responses varied greatly between people... And I'm sure some of you have gotten shunned by these friends.
But which is worse? )
[identity profile] angel530.livejournal.com
Sorry for the rant but [livejournal.com profile] silence_rising posted to a forum to tell them she was multiple, which for various reasons wed agreed was ok because of the reason she was posting it there in the first place.

Anyway, in general most of the replies had been very positive. However there was this one that has annoyed both of us:

I'm just going to assume that you are being on the level and not just having us on.

Mental illness, especially one as dramatic as multiple personality disorder, is something that I wouldn't advise sharing with anyone but those that you are very, very close to as it is bound to scare people off.

According to my father who is a prominent psychologist (past president and honourary president of the Canadian Psychological Association, founder and editor of Canadian Psychologist Magazine, Professor Emeritus at University etc, etc) the general consensus within the psychological/psychiatric community is that multiple personality disorder does not exist, at least not outside the pages of novels and movie screens. Though there a few who do believe in it. However you certainly are unusual in that you are aware of all your personalities. Are you in treatment? Because one of the goals of such treatment is to help you to realize that there are not really 10 personalities within you but one that for some reason has fragmented. I'm curious as to when you become aware of your disorder? And how you become aware of it? If you wouldn't mind sharing
[identity profile] allusionist.livejournal.com
Right, so Newbie promised you guys some backstory, so here it is...

Read more... )


It's done.

Jun. 20th, 2006 02:31 pm
[identity profile] stealthdragon.livejournal.com
We're 'out' to a big chunk of our circle of friends. On the whole, they've been supportive. The only one who's outright stated that they've got a problem with it is our boyfriend.

I've been discussing it with him, and we seem to agree on just about everything (that "I" 'hear' several internal 'voices', each of us being primarily resident in different brain-regions, etc.) except that he thinks we're "really" top-level unified, and we don't. Specifically, his opinion is that some mythical "I" has personified different brain-regions until they're experienced as not-me. *sigh*

Sometimes the people we love are the most difficult of all.
[identity profile] pengke.livejournal.com
I’m sure everyone has read someone’s post on this community or read a comment that made you stop and think, “I don’t believe you.” If you haven’t, either you don’t read the threads very closely or you work very hard not to think critically about anything you read here, because there have been some very outrageous claims made here over the years. (But that’s an entirely different discussion.) I want to know what people think when they come across one of these statements that they just can’t believe.

Do you:
Read more... )

Also, do your thoughts change depending on why you can’t believe the statement? For example, is there a difference between someone claiming to do/be something that you think is impossible and someone contradicting themselves or claiming that something happened in real life that could not have happened?
[identity profile] militesdekulta.livejournal.com
Ca's friend Stephen is truly bothering us all. He keeps conveniently forgetting we exist and saying it's weird that Ca knows about us. Whatever. Every multiple learns at some point they're not alone. Yes we are coconscious and no that is not a crime. He is pissing me off and I don't know how to fix this. He acts sad and bewildered when someone else picks up the phone,a nd he forces Ca out which is never good. It's one thing to ask for her, that we would have no problem with as other people have and do do that. But he has no tact in that arena and "won't fucking ask for Lunette or something" because "that's weird".
--Luna and Elondriel
[identity profile] angel13666.livejournal.com
thought would be good to have some humor around these holidays.. we know they can be hard.
Reberto's Community
[identity profile] monozukineko.livejournal.com
I wish they'd remember that my multiples are not characters. They're not always controlled by the will of the writer when they're spoken to via instant messages. Treating them like 'just another roleplay' will get someone hurt... me, if you're not careful. One stepping in to stop the other from wanting to tear a hole in your throat, for example, for having the audactity to mock old, dead relationships that he was involved in.

It's dangerous to poke dogs known for a habit of viciousness. I can't keep the leash on him all the time.

So I suppose.. on the earlier subject of multiples hailing from fictitious origins... is this a common problem? People who just don't get it... or worse, who tend to forget?
[identity profile] draegonhawke.livejournal.com
Not technically being multiple, I always feel a bit odd posting things like this.

Well, this is an issue that's come up several times in this community specifically--and is furthermore bound to in just about any community that deals with social perspectives. The issue concerns putting on a public face that will gain you credibility.

A common sentiment seems to be that if people stumble onto the multiple community and find people talking about nonhuman system members, "fictional" characters, trauma-split systems, etc. etc. then their response will be to think that the entire community is irretrievably delusional. (Yes, I understand that the position of some is that nonhumans et al. don't exist at all; I'd request that that not be the discussion of this post.) The idea is a simple one: if you don't want people to think you're crazy, act in such a way that you avoid what are considered the earmarks of insanity.

I can't help but feel, though, that this is ultimately self-defeating. After all, people will never really accept the nature of a community if that nature is kept hidden, diluted, or sugarcoated. It's the old bromide about getting people to accept you as you are.

How do you go about convincing people that you're not crazy-in-the-disordered sense? Being confrontational has its value sometimes, but on the whole it tends to unsettle people--and unsettled people tend to get defensive and more resistant to changing their attitude, not less. How do you become visible enough that people will take notice and reconsider their positions, all the while juggling your own imperfections and/or so-called "questionable" qualities?

Phrased slightly differently, how do you deal with the fact that unless you're beyond reproach, society in general will tend to slap you with the "crazy" label and push you to the side--and if you are beyond reproach you're not being human/genuine, and that's not helpful either?

[identity profile] spookshow-girl.livejournal.com
It seems some people are concerned that others on this community might be a "bad influence" on the new members of this community. As an all-around bad influence, and the sort of person that parents don't want their kids meeting, I call bullshit. I've never influenced someone who didn't want to be influenced in the first place.

If someone chooses to define their existence by the postings of someone else, on the internet, they've already got a problem that is not solved by "protecting them from the crazies". If everyone here jumped off the brooklyn bridge, would they do it too?

It really doesn't matter which multiplicity philosophy they grab. If all they do is grab the first thing they see, they're already in for a world of trouble. Don't blame someone else for their inability to think for themselves.

To those who are looking for answers:

All anyone can give, while on the internet, is minimally informed opinions and advice. They don't live your life. They don't have the answers. They, bluntly, don't know you from a fucking hole in the wall. Figure it out for yourself. Sure, you can ask other people for input, but the final assessment should be yours. If you are fucking crazy, it's best to be fucking crazy due to your own opinions. Second-hand delusions do noone any good. Who wants to be a cut-rate generic whackjob?

End rant.

[identity profile] wingedwolf-2004.livejournal.com
Hello everyone, my brother Toby has posted here before but I haven't. My name is Hayden, I am 15, I have silvery-grey coloured hair and my left eye is light blue, my right is dark blue and I have my hair neck-length, parted over my left eye.

Sam, Toby and I were thiking of some questions to see if we are similar to anyone in terms of our lifestyle.

* Where does everyone go when you are not fronting? We seem to just have a big, black space. However, we can add items and whatever we like at will, seemingly even people after a while.

* What do you guys in a female body do about sexual needs (if you have any) and vice-versa? In here, Alexander gets very depressed as he wants to go out and do stuff with gay males but i) we're in a female body, ii)He wouldn't be treated like a man, iii) Sam wouldn't let him anyways because of the risk.

* Can other people in a different system 'see;' or 'sense' you better than the host of the different system. Sams girlfriend has different personnas, and one of them, Andrew, seems to be good at seeing the others in here, mentally, although sometimes a trick of the light makes our physical features change, such as Alex's eyes going slit.

* Do you have problems with people treating you all as one being, or do you not mind that? We have no real choice as Sam prefers to keep this to herself, and those who would understand.

* Can two (or more)of your members surface at the same time and converse with each other? Or can whoevers fronting have an active conversation with whoever is 'behind'? Do you get people 'behind' you?

Thats all for now :) Sorry about the extensiveness of these questions.. Thankyou,

[identity profile] ash1977law.livejournal.com
I'm sorry if this offends you* but... darn... ok... here goes:

I'm fed up. I'm fed up with crazy multiples. I'm not fed up with multiples. I'm multiple. I enjoy being multiple even (though sharing a body can be a pain sometimes). I'm a healty multiple. More importantly I'm a Sane Multiple.

Every other post I read in this community goes like this:

"I have a walk-in past life soul bond who is Mr T from the A-Team & he shoots lazers from his eyes (which he would never do in the real world because that would be wrong)! He communed with god who is a giant multiple robot & told me that we all come from the planet cybertron!"

Here is my theory of multiplicity:

We are people who for either a bio-chemical, physical (such as brain structure) or psychological reason (such as trauma or some hidden non-trauma related cause) have more than one personality or persona.

Occasionally someone may have a personality who *beleives* that they are a 'walk-in' spirit, a psychic voyager, a traveller from another world, the spirit of a dead person or a fictional character. This is because that personality is deluded or lying.

Frankly if you have a personality who beleives that they are a dragon, a spaceman, an angel or whatever the latest RPG release from whitewolf or Anime favorite is then I'm happy for you. Hell, we are all a little crazy, each of us; singleton, multiple or otherwise... we are all a little odd in our own beautiful individual ways.

What I do have a problem with is loooong explainations of your latest half baked philosophy on how god is multiple or the secret hidden fairies that run the world. Enough, please. At least have the decency to stick it behind anm LJ cut***. It makes us Sane Multiples (yes I know that's a oxymoron) look bad.

In my opinion, a multiple who has just figured out that they are multiple and comes looking for advice and see's 10 other multiples talking a load of tosh about walk-in spirits, ghosts, anime characters & the like is likely to be confused at best, at worst it could lead to psychological harm with newly developing personas splitting from a persona who expects odditys like delusional personalitys to be the norm.

Yes this post is a tad confrontational. It may make you cry. Boo hoo, someone dosn't listen to you and humour you. Frankly my intention is not to make you feel bad & it's not intended as a personal attack. What it is intended to do is provoke discussion. Argue with me, tell me why I'm wrong using logic & well reasoned argument. Alternativelty stand up & be counted in the "crazy-but-not-in-that-way" Sane Multiple corner. State your opinion. Please. Heck, just shouting at me would be a start.

So please... reply.

*Actually, I'm not. This is my opinion. I've had to trawl through your semi-mystical half-baked nincompoopery** for long enough. Half the stuff I read makes me want to laugh out loud, the other half makes me want to leave this LJ, both personalities. However there is a lot of good advice mixed in with the guff so I keep reading. I had to join this lj just to post this because it's only my other personality that wants this popping up on her friends page & whilost she feels the same she's too soft hearted to say anything. Meh... I join just to say I want to leave, crazy eh?
** The original word I was going to write was a synonym for male-cow-feaces, but I figured if someone was going to be offended they may as well be offended by what I write not the words I use.
*** This post is not behind an LJ cut. That's because I'm a hypocrite. I can live with this.
[identity profile] jadedmosaic.livejournal.com
We are having the weirdest experience with a outside friend of Tieas.
She'll often start a quetion with Tiea with "So where do YOU want to go"? Tiea will typicaly wait a second or two and listen to us to see if we have a special place in mindwere all rooting for and answer the friend.
Allot of times the friend will say "we' disagreed and "came out and said something differnt", if its not a place the friend wants to go to, or like a movieshe wants to see, the friend will blame it on "us " and say "well all your little people couldet decide so were not going anywhere" If she's driving.

Or Tiea will end up some place she did not want to be and the frind will say "So and so said No" This is so NOT true and Tiea is catching on . We first off dont like being called "the little people" But to end up at a movie or club none of us wanted to go to and have it blamed on s is bothersome.

Has anyone had something like this happen? Were not sure weather one of us should say something( seperatly) to her(the friend)or wait for Tiea to say "No I was here and nobody switched at all" I dont think I'm explaining this well. But this outside friend will blame "us " "the little people inside "She even has called us "the munckins" Tiea just hung up the phone on her .
Peace Shelby
[identity profile] vinik.livejournal.com
Despite the fact that we've been referred to a new, and most likely appropriate social worker when it comes to getting ready for the baby, we're still hearing disturbing things from our OT about her conversation with the psychiatric social worker that has been causing us so much grief. We need to vent a little about it before we go off for the weekend so we can relax easier. (Background: we were referred to this woman for our anxiety disorder - aggravated by environmental and prenatal stress - and once she found out we were Multiple she went ballistic, acting as if we were a ticking time bomb despite the fact that we are fully co-conscious and co-operative. She has been highly inappropriate, irresponsible, and prejudicial with our case) It is possible we may be filing a complaint against her next year after we've settled down with the baby.

Anyway, when our OT spoke to her, she heard the same kind of ignorant crap we got. And when my OT, who's been working with many multiples over her 25 year span with her organization, answered the worker's question on what she thought about us not having integration as a goal (citing it was the only conventional treatment, something we all know is false because there are TWO 'conventional' treatments recognized by therapists: integration or co-operation), she sat there and questioned my OT's credentials and her organization's.

Baaaaaaad form. The organization that my OT works for is highly reputable and respected. They help tons of people with disabilities of all kinds in this city every day. My OT has also been with the organization practically since it opened. And, comparatively, I am the first Multiple this social worker HAS EVER MET, while my OT has dealt with a variety of Plurals over the years. Anyway, the worker was really annoyed with the fact that our OT had such a high opinion of our functionality (the only thing our OT said might be problematic for some is that we often say 'we' instead of 'I', but she got used to it 'lol')She also quoted sources that my OT recognized as being from 70's literature on MPD/DID. When she asked her if she had any more recent information, the worker said: "That IS recent." 'cough, cough, BULLSHIT, cough, cough...'

So, yeah, our OT is totally with us on this complaint. And I know of at least a few other professionals that have helped us who would probably also like to know how a woman who's never even met a diagnosed Plural before, read maybe 2 books on the subject about 30 years out of date(by her own admittance to us previously), is unwilling to update her sources or contact any therapists we've previously worked with (my OT was asked to call her on another matter), and has gone ahead with decisions without even waiting for results from recent assessments to show up, can think that she is behaving appropriately?

I think we definitely have a solid case here. Just sucks that this woman is making people in her profession look bad. We've worked with a lot of social workers with lots of experience in a psychiatric background over the years and it went very well. This woman, who has apparently been doing this for decades, seems to know jack shit about how to help people with pre-existing conditions. And I don't just mean Multiple. Name it, and I'll bet she doesn't have any idea who to refer you to in the area despite the fact she's been working at that hospital for over 2 decades. This is a travesty, and someone's got to point out to her higher-ups that they are being represented by a quack.

But, of course, for our family's safety that won't be until next year. 'sigh'

[identity profile] fadingtogrey.livejournal.com
I have a question I'm not sure how to phrase... I've seen symbols like ^ and & being used around people's names, in the context of multiple systems. I think I understand the general idea of it, but in all my research I've yet to come across a clear definition for them--or any definition at all, really. Can someone define these symbols (in the context of multiples), with some examples perhaps?

Also, a word to some of the newer members of the community. )
[identity profile] tempusfrangit.livejournal.com
I just have to say this, as it's been bothering me since I read the various posts.

First off, I do not understand the constant need to belittle someone because they're not multiple as you see multiplicity should be. We're in this together in one form or another and depend on each other in one way or another because we know the struggle each other go through.

Secondly, I fully realize that some people may be multiple to the way that they fit into the stereotypes, but they should not be lifted to public attention as the example is generally a negative one. Why can we not get some uplifting examples of functional system?

Thirdly, and lastly, the host needs more friends who can understand. I think total, we're friends with 5 other systems, and we would like to see her gain more people that she can relate to so that she can feel more comfortable talking about us or letting us type in the journal.

Thank you for your time,


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