[identity profile] itsa-wallaby.livejournal.com
I've been wondering lately whether these other people in my head are actual people or if they're just me being dissociative, and how to figure it out. My therapist refuses to entertain the possibility that they're actual people, so no help there. Can anyone think of some way to find out..? Or is this one of those "only you can tell" sorts of things?


EDIT: Look, the therapist comment was just to say that I'm not getting any help from him. He does NOT affect the fact that I don't know whether I'm just dissociating or if they're real people, and this question would have probably been asked with or without him. I have a lot of issues to deal with, and I am not seeing him for multiplicity, it only comes up because I told him about it once and he asks about it if we run out of other things to talk about. He's even told me that it's okay if I don't believe him. His stance is that they are dissociation, not people, and that there is a reason why they are there, and that I need to ask them until they give me an answer other than "well, why are *you* here?" I disagree with him about the question, but I do not know what to think about whether they're dissociation-induced or real people. Some days I believe they're real, some days not. Today, for example, I do believe they are real and separate people and that I'm not even the first one who was here. Two days ago, I believed we were all the same person and that I was dissociating sometimes, and sometimes "I" even thought that while talking to others or while being someone else.

I appreciate all your comments, I really do, just please leave my therapist out of it, because he has very little to do with this question.
[identity profile] underlankers.livejournal.com
    Over the past few months, our system has been working on consolidating our identities. We've all been going through a few identity crises, but now we believe we have resolved them. It has been a long, arduous journey from the days when the Population Boom of our system started, until now. The reason I am telling ya'll this, is that I have a few comments to share on the idea of the "UBER EBIL ALTER!!1! OH NOES!" These are raw ideas, fresh from my mind, so I apologize beforehand if they make no sense: Please let me know if you have any questions, comments, or snarks in our direction. This opinion brought to you by Jake Featherston:
[identity profile] crystalseraph.livejournal.com
I spent much of tonight reading about Near-death and out-of-body experiences, and I was curious as to people's thoughts on links between them and experiences of multiplicity :D.

Read more... )


Mar. 2nd, 2007 02:28 pm
[identity profile] aww-my-bees.livejournal.com
I had an out of body experience in the early hours of this morning. It's happened to me since I was fifteen, but this time Eddie was there, we were in what appeared to be a record store, and there were five other 'beings' with him, standing around him almost like bodyguards.
I was so happy to see him, and went to give him a cuddle, but the other 'beings' wouldn't let me get to him, and he hasn't fronted for a few days - I'm getting worried for him.
He didn't seem distressed but at the same time didn't seem to notice I was there either.
Steve has told me that he doesn't know what's going on with Eddie either, but he hasn't 'disappeared'
I didn't recognise the other 'beings' as any of them being Nikki, Jay or Steve either.
Wondering if anyone has experienced anything similar, without Eddie me and especially Steve feel incredibly vunerable.
[identity profile] 20splinters.livejournal.com
March 3, night of the full moon, is also supposed to be a total lunar eclipse. For more details: http://www.netspeed.com.au/minnah/2007/LE2007-1.html

You can do evil blood magic during one of those. Not that I would, of course. I don't do magic stuff, and none of the witchy-types in here are angry at anyone, though I do seem to be wearing one of their outfits...

Maybe that's why I got the compulsion to go look up lunar eclipses today! I think somebody's pushing to come out, but I'm not sure who yet.

Oh well, enjoy the eclipse!

[identity profile] rhymer-713.livejournal.com
We just found this article and were mildly shocked. What do you all think? We're posting this here for discussion's sake.
Jess and Alissa


Dec. 20th, 2006 02:12 am
[identity profile] kimandgary.livejournal.com
I'm not sure we fit the usual description of multiple, but there are two of us, in this body. Gary is technically a disincarnate walk in. I knew him in life, and after his death he came to live with me. He can take control of my body and we do switch, just like any other multiple. I have no history of abuse, but Gary does. I've known him since early childhood and we had a strong psycic link then. I could hear his thoughts, and I could check on him, mentally, if I wanted to know if he was OK. He took over my body once when he was alive in order to protect me. We have always been together in a way that is hard to explain, lifetime after lifetime. In this life there were times I was aware of that, and at other times not sure exactly what I was experiencing. I did know I experienced someone else's memories, and that person was male. I had a lot of things like that, which made no sense to me. It was all like a jigsaw puzzle, until the last few years.

When he died, he came to me at school. It actually took several moments for me to realize he wasn't there physically, because I felt him so strongly. He told me "I am OK, I am with you." I thought that was strange. He died suddenly, and I didn't know until later that day. I was stunned. He has been with me ever since, though for a while he pretended that he had crossed over, because he felt my obcession with him was not healthy for me. He hid in my subconscious, and convinced me that he was my animus, and various other things, but we always talked, and he always switched with me. I was normally aware of what he said and did, though I didn't control it, but I became ill once and he had to take over my body for a couple of years because I litterally blacked out. He was able to take over and run my life, though it was difficult because I was physically sick, and it was painful to keep going. I couldn't do it, but he was able to. I only had a few moments of lucidity at a time for those years, and I would suddenly be aware, and the next thing I knew months had passed. Of course I just covered that up, and didn't let on anything was wrong. Years later, when I recovered, he finally explained to me what was going on.

We know our story isn't typical, but we feel a need for support at this time. I started loosing time again recently, and I know I am starting to have black outs again. Gary is worried. We hope you don't mind if we hang around for the company.

Kim and Gary
[identity profile] gavinfox.livejournal.com
Um, hi.

I'm not a multiple, but I've taken some real life multiples as friends, and I find people who are systems really fascinating. I hope thats not a bad thing, because I dont want to make anyone uncomfortable; I just want to make some friends and read in the background and maybe reply to some posts. I'll try to be supportive and stuff, and not ask too many zany questions. I once, when I was much younger, tried to do some meditative thing to get some kind of mental companion, but it didn't quite work out. I'm a therianthrope/otherkin, but that aspect of my life has taken a backseat to mundane identities and life. I'm also a furry, and I am one in such a way that supports my theri side. I used to be into quite a bit of energy work/ psionics/meditation and such, but that has taken a backseat to real life as well. I would be glad to talk to anyone about any of those topics sometime, though! I'm usually on AIM or Yahoo as Gavinfoxx. Feel free to IM me any time, and I'll reply as soon as I can.

*Crossposted a bit*

Part One

Nov. 19th, 2006 08:55 pm
[identity profile] mylittlebox.livejournal.com
Apparently, if I behave myself the way she likes, I get quite a lot of pampering and attention. It's been some time since anyone has baked me brownies and took a hot shower just so they could wash me. In fact, that's never really happened. This must be important to her.

I was born, as I'm sure is well-known by now, in Assyria during what is now known as the Neo-Assyrian Empire. It is called our most powerful age, where we were at our best in all aspects. But what made us Assyrian, what made us happy, was war. I was bred and born specifically to be a soldier. I did not know my parents, and while that might have mattered to me at some point, it barely registered by the time I was a teenager. I was sent to the barracks early on, and was trained heavily each day in the methods of killing and overtaking. We were conquerers, and I was one of the most ruthless, by far.

More )

That's part of my story.
[identity profile] underlankers.livejournal.com
We were thinking about the nature of reality itself. My system is having a big division over this, even though the peacekeepers such as Godzilla, Tom, and Archimedes are trying to stop this from getting out of control.
Have those of you that had other worlds gone through a phase like this one, where your system is divided on whether it is real or not and if so, how did you pass through it?
[identity profile] fadingtogrey.livejournal.com
My boyfriend's wife, when we were all talking about multiplicity, said something interesting the other day, and I'd like to know what everyone thinks about it.

I was talking about how some people in a multiple system will go through bouts of depression, and they take a lot of time "inside" so they don't have to deal with anything. I've known a couple systems that may have been saved from suicide for this reason. My point was that almost everyone has the desire to just "go away" for a while, and in some multiple systems, this is perfectly achievable, while still keeping the body alive.

So, she said something like, "I wonder if having more than one person in a body is a step forward in evolution." Her idea was that a functional multiple would have more resources than a singlet; if one person didn't want to or wasn't able to handle something, someone else could (ideally) come forward and take care of the task.

I don't agree that it's necessarily a step forward (but goodness was I floored to hear that from her!). It seems to imply that multiples are better than singlets, and that's not the kind of thinking I want to encourage. But multiplicity might just be a sort of evolutionary experiment. What do you think?
[identity profile] secondcabal.livejournal.com
I can't feel anyone else very strongly.

Maybe it's the hematite ring -- I've heard it's good for grounding, but this is ridiculous -- or maybe it's the 10mg extra of Celexa that Doc L wants me to take. I'm up to 30mg.

Either way, this is not pleasant.


Oct. 4th, 2005 06:33 pm
[identity profile] fayanora.livejournal.com
I'm not really good with intros, but I'll try.

I am a great many things. Pagan, transgendered (but not transsexual), Otherkin, strange age identity issues, and now, apparently, multiplicitous.

Actually, I've known I was multiplicitous for years now. But I think I may be unique here in that I'm fairly sure I was one being until about 1999. That was my year from hell, in which (among other things) I tried to rid myself of something I didn't like about myself through denial, and ended up fracturing myself. But unlike MPD or DID, I don't have blackouts. My personalities all seem to share both mind and body (including memories) equally, almost like a nation of telepaths. I think that we share so much because the attempted removal of said aspect of self was a complete failure... we created an agressive personality from that experience, but it was an incomplete personality (I would call it a frankie, which is a term from "Kiln People" by David Brin... a frankenstein copy of one's self, a chimera of sorts). Luckily, through acceptance and love, we re-integrated it into the whole... but continued to be "fractured."

Up until a few days ago, I tried convincing myself that they were like imaginary friends in my head. And they are, in a way... in that, I can create new ones when I want to. But the old ones tend to stick around unless they decide to "die." One in particular, my Goddess of many names (sometimes Shao'Kehn, other times Djao'Kain or Shoikin or Zyao'HKehn, etc), seems to have nested permanently in my head, and is always there for advice giving and reminders and to answer questions.

But there are others:

1. Alexander (or Tristan, which is my given name), my masculine side. (I am a male, but I feel much more female.)
2. Fayanora (Fay), my feminine side.
3. Molly Elizabeth - my inner child, a blond haired little girl who says she's seven and affects a younger voice than that. (Replacing many l's and r's with w's.)
4. Various others who talk or argue (usually amicably) amongst themselves, but have not given themselves names. (Who, by the way, have made me take ten minutes to figure out if there's anything I left out of this list, constantly editing and re-editing it before... okay, we get the picture!)

Yet, because we share so much, we tend to not care what names we're addressed by. This is probably because most of us blend together so much that it's often hard to tell which one is speaking at any given time, and often we speak collectively. The only exception being that Molly Elizabeth jealously guards her name... and has her own way of speaking. :-)

Does anyone have anything similar?

Bright Blessings;
---Tristan Alexander Arts/Fayanora
[identity profile] tempusfrangit.livejournal.com
I just have to say this, as it's been bothering me since I read the various posts.

First off, I do not understand the constant need to belittle someone because they're not multiple as you see multiplicity should be. We're in this together in one form or another and depend on each other in one way or another because we know the struggle each other go through.

Secondly, I fully realize that some people may be multiple to the way that they fit into the stereotypes, but they should not be lifted to public attention as the example is generally a negative one. Why can we not get some uplifting examples of functional system?

Thirdly, and lastly, the host needs more friends who can understand. I think total, we're friends with 5 other systems, and we would like to see her gain more people that she can relate to so that she can feel more comfortable talking about us or letting us type in the journal.

Thank you for your time,
[identity profile] stealthdragon.livejournal.com
That isn't a jab at a previous poster, by the way. ;)

This is one of those times when I look back at my (and our) previous states, and feel crazy by comparison.

I - the Analyst - allegedly the rational-minded one in the system (isn't it nice to have a job description as the only name you're comfortable with - so limiting at times, but also so true and relatively safe) have been mucking about with totemic 'magic' in the past couple months. On the one hand, I'm pretty firmly convinced that the entire business is inside my head. On the other, someone or something seems to have taken advantage of the opportunity to move into my system, or possibly just make themself known.

He (definately a masculine presence) happens to be a shoggoth, and apparently my totem 'animal'. This is Weird.
He also has a personal name, which is unusual in a system where job-descriptions are more solid to just about everyone.
He hasn't fronted (yet?).

I'm rather at a loss at this point, since I wasn't expecting a response at all. I was most especially not expecting another system-member to show up. (Whether he's a soulbond or a native to the system, I have no idea. If he's native, does that change the validity of the totem-stuff?) I mean... bugger. My paradigms aren't built for this. Which is probably why I'm looking into the the subject at all, now that I think about it. ;)

I suppose the best thing to do at this point is to just go on. If he is what he says he is, stuff will continue to work. If he isn't, then it will eventually show in a way that requires me to adjust my understanding.

Wish us luck,
- An, with Ar, R, & S
[identity profile] hexpiritus.livejournal.com
Some questions, if I may:

1) I am confused as to the level of strong responses to my previous post containing the Hofstadter quote. Though I was expecting a lively discussion, there seemed to be a level of hostility or annoyance that I was not prepared for-- I may be mistaken, of course. In any case, was it the quote itself that aggravated people? Is quotes discouraged on this forum, or is only quotes directly pertaining to multiplicity alone allowed, and not quotes that may be indirectly related? Should I have stated my intentions concerning posting the quote in this community so as to have cleared up confusion before it began? Cata keeps claiming that we were being attacked somehow, but I find no firm, logical evidence of her assumption, and so would really like to get to the heart of the matter.

2) Though I have posted previously, albeit a while go, on the innerworkings of our system, it seems recent events and abilities within may have changed the appropriate identification of our processes-- at least for the purposes of such communities that require correct identification. We have always thought of ourselves as multiple/plural for two years, but the ability that's arisen where we integrate at will, and usually safely, to combine consciousness and skills, and then separate, may put us in the "median" category. I'd really like some feedback on the particular division with multiple and median.

3) My significant other, also a multiple, is stressed and alarmed that two of the entities within their system has walked out on them (let's call them the Elf-Star). A shaman-type woman claims that one of the entities that was once in the Elf-Star, which they just referred to as Phoenix, is now in her. Is that possible, that entities can walk out of one body and right into another?

Thanks for your patience.
-Stel of Hexpiritus
[identity profile] fireincarnation.livejournal.com
I have a specific group of people in my system who refer to themselves as Pam. Most of them are the remnants of when the original owner of this body went nuts and split. The rest of us are here because we are past lives, soulbonds, or we needed a refuge. Just before Pam descended into madness, she created me, Mela. The Pams very seldom front or deal with the outside world--they are scared, and have been burnt too much. I (and the other core members of the system) think it is critical to help heal (probably not integrate, but definitely heal) the Pams. I've been "in charge" of the system for four years now and we've made amazing progress, but we feel that the next step is to help the original member. We can't move forward as a system until we can help the Pams to become more functional.

Anyone else have a similar experience?

Also, my parents have taken to reading "An Unquiet Mind." I think this is a book about bipolar. Does anyone else have any experience of this book? Is it helpful at all, or do I have some work ahead of me dispelling them of some ideas?

Any suggestions of a good book about multiplicity? bipolar?
[identity profile] zenboiuke.livejournal.com
Hello! *waves to the people who know us from our f-list* lol

I am the primary fronter of my system. There are others who are around most of the time, but I am the one who is almost always in control. As such I have almost exclusive 3D experience, but almost no ability to back away from the front.

C is my lover, and a member of another system. We thought at first he was perhaps a soulbond but he seems to be a walk-in or spirit. He is not the primary, and as such rarely fronts, and spends most of his time in the inner world as do the other non-primaries in that system.

We--myself, he and his system's primary, who is a very good friend of mine--are sort of feeling things out as we go, as this is a new situation for us. My friend & I have a completely platonic relationship (especially seeing as how I am gay & she is a she :p) but she has said she is comfortable with the relationship between C & I as long as she doesn't fade into the background and lose primary status, which is certainly understandable. She & her inner family are still exploring various possibilities for who & what the others might be, how many there are, etc, and I don't wish to cause her to feel any sense of unease or anxiety at what must already be a confusing time for her.

Currently, the only means of communication between C & myself is via text messaging, email & LJ for a few hours each week (my friend lives several hundred miles away, so no easy physical contact 6_6;;). I am trying to broaden my ability to travel beyond the 3D world, and starting to explore Dreamwalking & Astral travel so that I can spend more time with C on equal ground. Meeting in our soul forms would take care of most of the challenges we currently face (him not having a body, mine being FUBAR 6 ways till Sunday 9_9;;;, cost of plane fare, etc lol), so any information or tips on how to travel beyond the body would be most appreciated, as I have heard conflicting advice from several sources lol (Incidentally, we share several similar memories, and I believe we were likely lovers in a past life, so we have chosen a place we both remember)

I am mainly looking for any advice or information if anyone else in this community is in or has been in or has known anyone in a similar relationship. It is, needless to say, rather unconventional ;p But I have always believed that if someone wants something badly enough they will find a way to get it. Though it is frustrating being unable to spend time together freely as 'normal' people might, and share many of the simple pleasures (The fates are conspiring so that I will NEVER get any help cleaning that damn cat litter! [/mock-ANGST!] :p) I wouldn't trade C for any 3D man I know, even if they offered to pay off all my debt and give me a brand new body that works the way it's supposed to (That should give the few of you on this list who are also on my friends list--and therefore know my personal financial & physical struggles--an indication of how important C is to me ^_~)

So, after pondering these issues for a few weeks, it occurred to me that we can't possibly be the only lovers who are challenged by such circumstances. It would be great to know what has worked for others, or even join a community for such couples (or triplets or, you know, whatever works for you ;) just to have the support of others who understand the peculiar difficulties we face.

For those of you who have the ability to see & touch your lovers, whether you both be in-house or 3D, please do so. Hold them & kiss them and never take that gift for granted ^_^

[identity profile] jhonathand.livejournal.com
Having sat back and watched through this whole Mire of the 'lil speak Contraversy,........A.K.A. ('Lil-gate' 2005) I thought the most interesting thing about all of what I've seen and what's been posted,.

The thing I tune into the most is the Social-Dynamic of those between the school of thought of Pure or Mostly Pure Logic, and those of the school of thought of,. being governed by their Passions and Rule in Absolutes.

It's rather interesting when you step back and take a look at things,...

I have just recently watched the Third Star Wars Movie. "Revenge of the Sith." There's one line in the movie above all that jumped out at me,.

"Sith are Ruled by their passions and govern in Absolutes."

I nearly feel out of my seat in Shock!. Here was this fictional movie telling me exactly how I operate! It was the freakiest thing in the world.

so Either way, Looking at both sides of the arguments, the Pro's and Con's of it all. Isn't the point,.

The point is seeing the age old-battel of wills between Logic and Emotions. And that's where I have to wiegh in.

I am Very Emotional,. Adept at it would be an understatement, It is My reason for living.

So when I take a step back and look at these so called "Logical thinkers" Wax eloquently about facts and Diagrams, all in the vein hope of being, right/A.K.A. Aknowledged on a base level, from some outside source.

I understand. It's why I screm and shout and say nasty things. I just want to be "right" as well

We're all just searching for a form of acceptance. So I can understand that. (Coming from a passion ruled seat here.)

If this weren't true, why would someone post it on a live web-server/bulitien Board message system,.?

Doesn't this just Smack and cry for attention,.? To anyone else,.? I hope I'm not the only one here who can see this,.?

"When one child sees, that for some reason, some other child is more content then they are; The first will do everything in their power, to make the second feel less content than they are."

It happens,. I see it all the time. I'm sure that some of you out their have been around children,. Either helped raise them, or even in your own systems and houses perhapes?

I offer this, Instead of being insighted to an alarmist position, Instead be entranced at the Dynamisim (I know that's probably not a real word but what the hell.) Of the situation and gain better understanding of where each other stands.

It seems simple enough for me,.

and Let's face it, If It's simple enough for me, Damn near anyone should be able to do it.

I may not be the most intelligent bulb out-of-the-box, However my Emotional Quotient is off the chart.

I am by no menas a genius, However I'm also not a dummy, although sometimes my grammer doesn't portray that.

In any case. I thought I would just offer up that point of view.

I think it's eaasy enough to understand,.

you just gotta feel it, instead of understanding it.

And Vice-Versa

Do ya get the point,.?

[identity profile] spookshow-girl.livejournal.com
One caveat: this is only my view on things. Not all my multiple friends will agree. I am not even prepared to say the system has a consensus on this issue. However, I believe, in a now deleted entry, my stance on multiplicity, and the paranormal was misunderstood. I find it a little irritating, because my wording was careful, in an attempt to be clear.

Although I find interest in noting how one can affect the other, and in some cases, seem to aid or hinder the other; I feel it's foolhardy to assume that since both states can exist in the same physical body, that this means there is by necessity a causal link, and particularly an exclusive causal link, as you imply.

That was my statement, italics added for emphasis. Somehow, this seemed to be taken to mean that I feel there is no connection. Since the above wasn't clear enough, I'll try again.

It is my personal belief that most aspects of mental functioning will affect each other. Drinking while depressed is not the best idea, for a reason. There is a connection between most of this, based on the fact that it involves information processing somehow. Unless you are completely inert mentally, you process information. Being psychic effects how you process information. If your body has psychic functionality, it can effect how the system processes information. This in turn, can effect how the system functions.

What I do not agree with, is the concept of an exclusive or universal causal relationship. This is my acknowledgement of psychics who are not multiple, and of multiples who do not have psychic experiences. Their experiences should be respected. It is extremely messed up to act like they don't exist because they don't fit some pet theories professed.

I have come out in defense of multiples who wish to explore how the paranormal effects their system. What I will not do, is come out in defense of marginalising those who don't fit the psychic and multiple model out of either community.

I hope I have clarified things.



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