[identity profile] inmonopolus.livejournal.com
Hello!

I've been lurking at this community for some months now--you only get to make a first impression once, after all, but you all seem like really great people, so I figured I might as well.

A little bit about me, personally; my name is Theo, or Theory. (Well, my birth name is Amber, but hardly any of my friends call me that). I'm a nineteen year old, and I identify as Soulbonder/Median, in that this body is mine; I was born into it and no one else considers it 'theirs', even when they front. Also, I experience no lost time or disassociation, and most of my soulbonds (collectively, the Coterie) can be readily identified from media sources. We are, however, at least partially a trauma-connected system, but nobody here is explicitly destructive, and 99% of them can work together and resolve conflicts peaceably. Nor are we attending therapy, though we probably should be, if only to have someone to confide in about said trauma. I won't bore you guys with that here, though, no worries. <3

The whole list--with far more detail than you might care to know--is in our userinfo, but a short introduction would include Griffin (of The Invisible Man fame), Dracula (predominantly of Van Helsing fame, not Bram Stoker's), Van Helsing himself, Renfield, Vex, Q (Star Trek), the Fool (of Robin Hobb's Farseer Trilogy), Malone, Quackerjack, Nicholas Angel, and an insource, Sam, as well as myself.

And since I've got the window open, I might as well ask a quick question of you guys, open-ended, of course. How many of you match, gender-wise, the body you affiliate yourselves with? I ask mostly because I'm female, with some exceptional gender confusion of my own, and yet the Coterie is composed entirely of "masculine" persons (even the two who identify androgynous and hermaphroditic tend towards presenting--to me, at least--a masculine sense.) I'm curious. If it's too intrusive a question, of course, please tell me so.

Anyway, so! Happy to be here.

~Theo
[identity profile] forever-alone.livejournal.com
(I don't recall seeing this posted before, but I could be wrong.)

We just got back from doing a little book-shopping and stumbled across an MPD/DID book we'd never seen before. Since I'm compelled to read each and every one of these atrocities I find, I looked it over, fully intending to buy it no matter how awful it was... but to my surprise, the first quote I read on the back cover actually THRILLED me. Here it is:

"I've lived this way and managed for all of my life. And I don't view it as dysfunctional, actually. I like the way that I am, and it works."

A collective wave of confusion followed by disbelief and excitement washed over the several of us who were close to the front. A multiple, in her own words, describing her system as functional and alluding to a desire to STAY multiple? We were more than a little interested.

More... )
[identity profile] kaesesandwiche.livejournal.com
... but a crappy intro, cuz I'm shit at defining myself. I'm August. I'm 23, kind of, exept for I'm a vampire so maybe I'm a shit ton older than that. I suck at figuring out how to explain ages when you're multiple anyway. I curse too much an Im horibly dyslexic AND I suck at spelling/gramar/language in general so SORRY in advance. I'm the 'gatekeeper' or whatever you want to call it for our hours. I run things, only i'm an anarchist (an so's a lot but not all of my headmates) so it is less 'running' and more 'reluctintly accepting that our brain somewhy gave me extra power/authority over the others that i dun realy want and try to use as little as possible so we can stick to doing things consensusfuly'.


(Thankfully we're moving out of the apartment we shares with them next month, moving out of the entire city actully, and a MAJOR part of the reason is cuz we can. not. live. with. them. anymore without many in our sistem wanting to shoot them or maybe ourselfs, but still I dunno how to deel with this issue.)
[identity profile] coma-white-01.livejournal.com
Hey there,

Before I introduce myself, let me just start off by saying I literally had NO hope left for anything before I found this community last night. Reading through everybody's posts and such...god, I almost cried at how relieved I felt. I've read so many "MPD/DID" text books and been to a therapist and blah blah blah...and with the text books I became even more confused, because I didn't seem to fit the "text book" model of being a multiple. I was never abused, me and "my guys" are all conscious of each other, etc. So I thought, "Well, what the hell? Am I lying to myself? Why aren't I like those other multiples?" and my therapist sure didn't help any. SO...yes. This community is probably the greatest thing I've ever stumbled upon. It may have just saved my life. Now, I beleive I owe you all an introduction =)

I guess I'll start with myself:
My name is Laura and I'm 17 (18 in July!!) I have absolutely no idea which personality traits I possess. I guess I know "my guys" better than I know myself. I guess I'd be considered the "Host"...but I don't think that fits my position very well.

My guys:

-Lance: Alright...Lance is a little different. He's actually Lance Bass. From Nsync. Lance came to me when I was in 5th grade (Since I was 10). He's always with me "up front". Always. It's always half him, half me. We stand side by side. And he kind of just lives his own life. He lives in Los Angeles, California, and has his own friends, seperate from my own. He doesn't know about the rest of of my guys, and I don't think he knows about me. He looks like the actualy Lance Bass, and he's interested in most of the things he is. He just turned 28 on May 4th, and what do you know! So did the actual Lance Bass. And oh yeah, he's gay =) He was the first one here...or well, the first one to make himself known, and he's always been my partner in crime, even if he doesn't know it =)

-Noah James: Noah...hmmm, he's a handful, that's for sure. He's 19 and shares my birthday. Although once he turns 20 (In July), I'm thinking he's probably just going to stay 20. He's usually very...angry. He lashes out at my friends on the internet a lot, because he's scared of people getting close to us. He's convinced that no one cares about us, and that everyone lies to us about everything. He's been here for about 2 1/2 years, I suppose. He doesn't talk (Just types on the computer). He rarely makes any facial expressions. He likes to make people uncomfortable when he stares at them. He'll get right up in people's faces and just...stare. He's also gay. He dyes his hair funny colors (My hair has been every color of the rainbow thanks to him). He has a penpal from Russia (We're all learning Russian together), and him and her have been talking for about a year and a half now. Suprisingly, he absolutely ADORES her. I left him in charge of talking to her. He was the second one here, and he's up front pretty regularly with me and Lance.

-London: London is very sweet. Very sweet. He just likes to see everyone happy and getting along. He talks in a very sweet voice and he's very gentle. He's very lean and pale. And...he has no sexual orientation that I know of. Isn't interested in boys and isn't interested in girls. But yeah, he's kind of the "father" figure. Tries to smooth things over when they go wrong.

Joel: Ah, the newest member =) I don't know too much about him right now. Real friendly, I know that. But he's only made himself know...well, maybe a little more than a week ago. I know he has dark brown hair, bright blue eyes, and he's very pale. He enjoys painting, which he proved last night. I think he's going to be fun to have around and I can't wait to see his personality progress over time =)

Sooo...that's them. I could write pages and pages of information (except for Joel), about all of them, but I figured this is long enough as it is =D

Me and my guys look forward to talking with you all and getting to know more about you! As my title says...Finally: A place where I belong.

No longer alone,
-Us
[identity profile] castledwellers.livejournal.com
Hi...

Thanks for having us...

We are a multiple household.  There are over 100 us and counting.  We are victims of SRA, and other severe forms of child abuse.  We have many different types of insiders... male, female, animal, spirit, and others.  It wasn't until recently we learned the terms 'walk-ins' and 'soulbound' for particular members.  We have members we refer to as age-sliders, they can change their age.  We certainly have many of those.  We live with 3 friends and our fiance... and 7 cats.  It is difficult, but with understanding people, it makes life a bit easier.  We try so hard to maintain our "front" to avoid as much confusion as possible.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt.  Several of us are in graduate school to become an LPC  (licensed professional counselor).  It is very scary, but we feel we have a lot to give back to the community, and hope to help others that have been through trauma and abuse.  

So that's all for now...

The Dwellers

Hi

Apr. 30th, 2007 08:05 am
[identity profile] brightflashes.livejournal.com
It has almost been a decade since I even thought about being a multiple or having DID to begin with, but the topic keeps coming up in my life lately. I'd just as soon forget all about it, but something is nagging at me to learn more about my past experiences (perhaps my near-fullterm pregnancy). I'm hoping that this community can help shed light onto whatever I went through when I possibly had multiple personality disorder.

What triggered me to join this community is the seething anger I experienced recently at the hands of someone's alter. I had recently made friends with someone who revealed to me eventually that she was a multiple. I found so much in common with her that I started to share with her my past experiences. She instantly invalidated that I ever even had such experiences, said that I was lying for attention more or less, and one of her multiples started to attack me passive-aggressive style saying things to invalidate that I ever had the disorder and convincing mutual friends that I was just trying to win at the "who can have more problems" game which was totally untrue.

Read more... )
[identity profile] death-mountain.livejournal.com
I guess I should introduce myself. My name is Hayley, but I usually go by DM (DeathMountain) online. I'm a singlet, who only recently learned about multiplicity (beyond the usual crappy stereotypes that I'm sure you're all tired of). For the past few days I've been visiting some sites on multiplicity and trying to learn more about it. While exploring I realized that my best friend/sister/"soulmate" is possibly a multiple, although it's been a while since she's mentioned any possible members of her system, if that's what it is. Anyway, I won't go too in depth in this post, as I've already written quite a bit in my profile. Please don't be offended when I say multiplicity really interests me. I don't know how to explain, and I'd probably end up repeating myself. From my profile . . . "I like interesting things and people. I like to know as many kinds of people as possible. There are so many people out there, and all of them so different from each other, but similar too." I like people's quirks and oddities, even if they seem mundane to that person. But I'm not trying to analyze or examine anyone.
I'm a bit of a lurker, but I hope you accept me well. I look forward to getting to know people, even if our interactions are infrequent.

Toiling

Mar. 29th, 2007 01:28 am
[identity profile] cross-clan.livejournal.com
I hesitate posting to this community because "I" am part of a semifunctional trauma based system and feel a little out of place.  

Until we stumbled on this community a few months ago, We bought into the belief that we where broken in need of repair.  This viewpoint has always felt uncomfortable for most of us.

We've only had a small glinpse of healthy multipicity and "I" feel envious!!  In part "I" feel intimidated by the concept. And the thought that we may never achieve it tears me up. "I" desire  the communication and organization sooooo much.

I'm sorry for the lack of clarity, feeling a little emotional

- Trich
[identity profile] cross-clan.livejournal.com
Hello my name is Trich.  I've been with u for a few weeks and felt It was time for an Introduction. My spouse and I are trauma based plurals. Even though our abuse originated from the same group of people, we've developed completely different systems. I have more difficulties with communication and co-consciousness that creates too many inconsistencies for the children. Too many of us front in a day to track. In addition we only have access to half of the interality.  I was wondering if any of u had simlarities; or more specifically Incite as to whether the division may be linked to the communication/co-consciousness  problem?


Thanx
[identity profile] memorysdaughter.livejournal.com
I am new, though I've been watching the community for awhile. I'm 19, diagnosed with everything under the sun and a few things that aren't. I'm a part-time student and part-time toy store employee, although I have a full-time job as PR/writer/blogger/etc. for a camp for visually impaired kids. I love "Firefly" and cupcakes and my guinea pig... and I always refer to myself as "I," except for the random times when I use "we" (though my friend Jason always asks if I have a mouse in my pocket when I do so).

I am wondering if anyone else here refers to themselves as "I," or is the sole external voice. Also, I am wondering how you tell people that you are a multiple, and how it effects your interpersonal relationships (specifically those with your significant other). And if you have any advice for dealing with everyday life (or how you make it easier), that's always appreeciated too.

And I'm always looking for people to talk with.

- Sarah-Beth + Serafina, Kataryne, Boris, Harriet, Jamie, Ivy, Maggie, Elisabeth, Aaron/Nathan, Tobias and the other twin
[identity profile] annabellelaw.livejournal.com

I’m going to put this up on my LJ so that people can learn a little bit more about me.

Erm, what would you like to know about me? Do you have any questions? Hi!


[identity profile] teh-kerry.livejournal.com


Hi, 

We came across this site after a Google search for MPD, and Kerry realised she had a LJ account that she'd never used, so we thought we might join this community (hope that's OK). 

Kerry's the original owner of the body we share, she's the one who was born and has this life, etc. There are 5 others of us: Lynn, 22, Sophy, 9, Tash, 19, Jenna, 16 and Andy (that's me, and I'm 15). Kerry's physically 13, but her average age is about 15 and a bit, if you add us all together. (Shame she can't get out videos based on that :D) 

We've all got seperate views on the world, seperate memories (none of which the body has experienced - eg Jenna was pregnant aged 11 and the body never was, Lynn had some pretty unpleasent experiences as a child and although Kerry did too, hers were of a different type) and even seperate social lives. Even seperate love lives - and sexual orientations - come to that.

I'm rambling on. :) 'm pretty bad at writing introductions (I'm pretty shy, as are Kerry and Sophy; Tash, Lynn and Jenna are more in-your-face) so I'll leave that there. So yeah. Hi :)

[identity profile] celestialscar.livejournal.com
First, I must say that I was glad to come across this community. I do not know why I had not thought of looking on LJ for such a thing, but the thought did not ever cross my mind. I find it encouraging (but somewhat sad, as well), that there are others who live or lived in the manner which I/we did/do.

The main reason for this post and my renewed will to research, I admit, is that I have come across an interesting dilemma with the system. Everyone else is gone.

For simple background, I will say that the multiplicity began at a young age (7-8years) as a result of trauma, which I am sure many understand. There were far more people back then, many of which integrated to form new, more complex people. I grew up as the main fronter, the supposed main-personality, and did not know any of this was going on. When I met my now-husband, things became apparent that something was not right, and the alters at the time revealed themselves. We were down to three (originally we numbered 15, I believe). They came out regularly for years and years, and many problems and memories have been worked out and shared.... but at the same time, new problems arose. A while back, however, they stopped coming out. I do not hear anything from them, they are not here, and I do not know why.

My husband has suggested that we integrated, but in my heart (if I can phrase it that way), I do not feel that to be true. I do not remember many of the things that I supposedly should (things I know happened but do not recall specifically). My personality has not changed in a remarkable way, either, and there was no reason for us to become one all of a sudden like that.

To an extent, I admit it partly to be a relief, as one of the other personality was very troublesome, but the situation itself troubles me and I hoped that someone would be able to offer some insight.

In any case, for those who read this all, thank you. Any advice or information would be appreciated. Also, it is very nice to meet all of you.
[identity profile] jerseytwo.livejournal.com
This is our first real post here, other than comments, and we never really introduced ourselves, so probably there's some basic background stuff that would help with answering my question.

Background about Jes and me )

I guess my question is two questions. First, how have any of you dealt with sexuality issues? cut for appropriateness, though nothing real bad )

The second question is a little more complicated. For a lot of growing up, we thought it was just us two. No one else really showed up, or anything, so we didn't suspect. We also had no idea what multiple systems were or what we were so there was no reason for us to wonder. But I've known for a while now that it wasn't just us. Cut for people who don't want to read the long thing. )

So that's my crap, in a nutshell. It's ridiculously long, I know. Thanks to anyone who got through the whole thing, or even just part of it. I've been lurking around for a while, since before I started blogging about all this, and it's been cool to read everything.

Thanks,
Jeremy
[identity profile] eridanusus.livejournal.com
Well we're around again. It's funny how we have times when we don't talk to other multis at all.. need to change my subs on the yahoo lists because our domain expired, couldn't be assed paying more money to keep it, so there went the email addresses. Switched everything else onto gmail, just not the yahoo stuff.

Anyway. Not too much, just saying hi. We're.. kinda settling, I think? Dunno. Kei's been out a lot, she did nanowrimo, got her writing website done and online, stuff like that. I get to go talk to social services in a couple days to get back on our beenfit and we're sorting out our medication. Again. Now we can't drink or use sleeping pills because we're on.. nortryptaline (sp?) which is a tricyclic antidepressant, sedative thing.
[identity profile] dacnomaniac.livejournal.com
I ... don't know if I should be here. I'm not sure I belong here, that is. I don't know if what I'm experiencing is multiplicity, or what. But the userinfo of another multiplicity community whose name I can't recall convinced me that, if nothing else, I should research this and seek input from people who do understand their internal phenomena in this context (I'm not sure that's how I mean to phrase it... oh well.) I'm a little frightened by this, for no reason I can discern, but I've finally worked up the nerve to bring it up.

Of course, now I'm not sure where to begin.

homo homine lupus )

I'm confused and, frankly, feeling rather stressy and frustrated by this. I just want to know what the hell is going on here. Can anyone explain this to me? Give me pointers?
[identity profile] bound-innle.livejournal.com
Heh heh heh. I'm Jane, the "original" here. At least, I'd like to think I am. My memories with this body go back about fourteen years (AKA three years old and trauma involving a car accident on my father's part), so I assume I was the first occupant.

And I'm Lyserg Diethel, yes, that Lyserg Diethel. I'd thought I'd had enough of spooky woowoo mysticcrap, and then last winter I heard a cry for help, answered it, and... well, I'm here now. Let's not question it.

Hi Dad, if you're reading this. Um. That wasn't directed towards Mana, if there's a him here I'll be frankly kinda scared. My name's Allen Walker, pleased to meet you!

We're not quite sure what to call how we work, and so have joined here in hopes of meeting more people and finding out more about this sort of thing. And, ah, if an intro like this is frowned upon, we can delete it! [Edit: That to the immediate left? Was written out of mortal fear that a mod would show up and be all "RAAAAGH YOU BROKE A RULE" at her. We en't deleting anything, don't worry.]
[identity profile] artemisfowl2nd.livejournal.com
I've been lurking here for a few days, now -- reading all the FAQ's and such that I could find.

I believe myself to be multiple, although I suppose I could be median or something of the sort. I'm almost always fronting -- Alex fronted one time and there were less than desirable results so we haven't tried that again yet. There's three inhabitants that are vocal, and quite a few (I never bothered getting a count -- it would take too long) that are less than vocal living out in the various towns that populate my head.

Anyways, I had a question for you lot. We're trying to get a better co-concious going so we can hear each other better. Right now everyone's a little fuzzy and we've had feelings hurt due to miscommunication. Advice would be appreciated.

Katters out.
[identity profile] ravenblade.livejournal.com
... I am almost hesitant to post here. But I figure .. what the hell.


I am Tyg. And I have five head-mates. Perhaps that sounds a little bit like "Alcoholics Anonymous" or something. Gosh. There really isnt a comfortable way of telling anyone this subject....


Right now, only four people know of my boys. My husband, my girlfriend, and two other gals at work. My husband was a bit shocked at finding the boys in my head could say things that were on their minds. Or even that they could come out and front sometimes.

My girlfriend was the one who introduced her boys to me, and by doing so incouraged mine to come out. The other two gals at work were kind of an accident. One we just let it slip, and she was cool.

The other, was an accident as well. Apparently Vel had said something to her and she mentioned it to me. ( tyg) I was a most confused, as he neglected to tell me he said something. My reply was " Oh. Well. I suppose that is the downside to having multiples. Right?" and walked off.

Now, I only called them multiples, because she wouldnt have known what a "Head-mate" was.

She later became very excited by it, and it was almost scary. She squealed, and replied " Oh!! Someone with MPD!! Cool!! Im studying to be a psyc. major. Tell me more."

Vel's reaction was " WTF?!? Its nae a disorder. Im nae a disease. Now donnae analyze me. " ( Hes Scottish by the way)

I suppose that made me uneasy enough to not want share with anyone else.

I dont feel that they are a disorder or a disease. Infact, life has been a lot easier to deal with since they have come about. Like... they all can handle things differently and its so much better now.

I guess I am mainly posting because one of my boys is new. And he doesnt know who he is yet. Has anyone else had that. I mean my Burd and I have been talking, and she has helped, but he still doesnt know anything yet. Like... hes an amalgamation(sp) of two totally different people, and yet he doesnt know who he is. And its mostly just confusing all of us really. *sighs*

Wow. That.. feel better. Thanks for letting me bleed that out into the open.

~~~~Tyg
[identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/__camy/
I joined this community because my fiance has MPD... I've been trying to learn more about it (I just have manic depression), and while there's some good reading material out there about it, I just can't understand it.
Basically what he's told me, and what his friends have told me, is that he has borderline MPD... he says it only 'comes out' when he's VERY angry about something and that when it does, he blacks out and can't remember anything. While I do not make him angry now and have never seen this come out in him, I know it will eventually happen. I'm not sure if there's any way for me to be ready for it, but I'm just so confused. I've read some of the past entries in this community and I just want some kind of introduction into the world of multiplicity... it has always fascinated me.

Also, I thought I should say that some of this seems a bit peculiar to me.. I mean, doesn't everyone have different characters that come out in certain situations? I know I do....

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