Heya...

Apr. 2nd, 2007 10:57 pm
[identity profile] makil-s.livejournal.com
I was just wondering if anyone else here tends to have a difficult time making external friends? For us, there's only one that's really very good at making friends with other people, but she's a bit handicapped because of the difference in gender from our body.

Myself, I'm not even very good at making friends online cause I just never go out looking for it. I tend to succumb to inertia a lot. Maybe that's just part of who I am... and not related at all to having everyone else in here... but sometimes that just adds to it because if I really want to talk to someone I can just talk to them. It makes it easier to avoid external people, which I tend to do.

I guess I'm sorta wondering if anyone has any basic tips in how to make friends? I suppose my being pretty open about being multiple could also be a handicap in that respect, but then again... I haven't had many negative reactions from the people I /have/ told. So why not?

Also, if there's anyone interesting out there who'd not mind adding me on LJ that would be cool too(my true intention for this post shows through finally. heh.) I'm a pretty average geeky guy with a decent sense of humor and somewhat poor social skills. BEST FRIENDS FOEVAR! :P

God I'm a loser... ;D

::edit:: Oh yeah, and my name is Kent and I'm part of the puzzlesystem... Morgil and Flute and Kat(myorp) have all posted on here a lot more than me. But they're the Others.
[identity profile] mirrorbrothers.livejournal.com
So, we were at a con last weekend, rooming with some old friends who knew about me back before I started fronting. I was in front when we went back to the room one night, and I got into a conversation with them (our first) in which I got a couple comments I wasn't expecting.

Read more... )

I suppose I was wondering if anyone had thoughts on any of this, or similar experiences, or whatever.
[identity profile] 20splinters.livejournal.com
Uh, there are 21 members in here that I know of.

Bleah. Trying to explain the multiplicity thing to the roommate last night. He asked that question and wanted to know who the "main" is. Uh, don't have one. There's a tendency for 1 or 2 of us to be the main ones fronting over a long time span, but there's a regular "changing of the guard." The last few days there's been a lot of co-presencing and rapid switching back and forth, so I guess we have been more confusing to people outside than usual. We've been just not mentioning when we switch and letting the roommate experience us without knowing, but that can lead to awkward situations.

He and Shel are lovers, but I feel only friendship. But I'm social and like physical contact, so he gets the wrong idea sometimes if I hug him. And Wish, Wish just tries to avoid contact or conversation because he knows that people react badly when they find out they're dealing with a gay elf boy in a female body. Guess I shouldn't tell the roommate that he kissed Wish. I think that's kind of funny even though Wish is embarrassed.

I'm not quite sure how to explain to the roommate better, and it needs to be done. He's a decent guy in every other way, and if some of us weren't here he and Shel would be really great together, but he just seems completely close-minded to anything but the standard psychological explanation of multiples. Any ideas?

Gab, with some co-presencing by Wish and Janna
[identity profile] rabbitsystem.livejournal.com
We spent part of this weekend with someone who knows we are multiple. While he believes us, I can't help but feel insulted. He assumes it would be better if we integrated - he can't understand why we're not trying to. (He went so far as to suggest a method of operating like a singlemind. It wouldn't work.)
Am I justified in feeling insulted, or am I being oversensitive?
[identity profile] crystalseraph.livejournal.com
Hey there again. Since I posted a few days ago, things have been falling into place more and more. I am kind of scared, kind of exhilarated, wondering if I'm going crazy or just delusional. But, it feels right somehow. I am more scared by how not scared I am.

The Good News and the Bad )
[identity profile] rhymer-713.livejournal.com
Every one in this community, or almost every one I'm sure has told some one they were multiple. And I'm sure the responses varied greatly between people... And I'm sure some of you have gotten shunned by these friends.
But which is worse? )
[identity profile] monozukineko.livejournal.com
I wish they'd remember that my multiples are not characters. They're not always controlled by the will of the writer when they're spoken to via instant messages. Treating them like 'just another roleplay' will get someone hurt... me, if you're not careful. One stepping in to stop the other from wanting to tear a hole in your throat, for example, for having the audactity to mock old, dead relationships that he was involved in.

It's dangerous to poke dogs known for a habit of viciousness. I can't keep the leash on him all the time.

So I suppose.. on the earlier subject of multiples hailing from fictitious origins... is this a common problem? People who just don't get it... or worse, who tend to forget?
[identity profile] redrainstorm.livejournal.com
A common problem we've run into is the members of this system are close to an outside individual. Many of the children want to constantly spend time with this person and to do so they have to front and spend time outside (obviously!).

One little boy has a lot of jealousy and emotional issues and is very, very attached to this outside person and likes to grab on to all the time he can. We're (us and the outside person) are trying to get him to let go little by little because it's not healthy for him to cling so tightly, and "not fair" to the others who have just as much right to come out as he does.

Any time we try to break him away from this person he throws tantrums and crying fits. We're not sure when it's for attention, and when he really is just being so sensitive and emotional that he needs this person. He's had a rough past so we're trying to be understanding. But, where does one draw the line of giving him what he needs, and simply giving into his tantrums?

Other little ones, as well as teens/adults want time outside to spend with this person, or simply just want time in the body to do things that they wish to do.

How does everyone deal with the problem of finding enough time for people who want to front if there are a lot of people?

And, does anyone have helpful advice as how to deal with a very emotionally sensitive child and how to get him to feel safe enough to let go of this outside person long enough for others to have their share of time?

Thanks.

Lis & N.C.
[identity profile] jadedmosaic.livejournal.com
We are having the weirdest experience with a outside friend of Tieas.
She'll often start a quetion with Tiea with "So where do YOU want to go"? Tiea will typicaly wait a second or two and listen to us to see if we have a special place in mindwere all rooting for and answer the friend.
Allot of times the friend will say "we' disagreed and "came out and said something differnt", if its not a place the friend wants to go to, or like a movieshe wants to see, the friend will blame it on "us " and say "well all your little people couldet decide so were not going anywhere" If she's driving.

Or Tiea will end up some place she did not want to be and the frind will say "So and so said No" This is so NOT true and Tiea is catching on . We first off dont like being called "the little people" But to end up at a movie or club none of us wanted to go to and have it blamed on s is bothersome.

Has anyone had something like this happen? Were not sure weather one of us should say something( seperatly) to her(the friend)or wait for Tiea to say "No I was here and nobody switched at all" I dont think I'm explaining this well. But this outside friend will blame "us " "the little people inside "She even has called us "the munckins" Tiea just hung up the phone on her .
Peace Shelby

OMFG

Oct. 20th, 2005 06:34 pm
[identity profile] hairymonster.livejournal.com
Not only have I just met my first real life actual other local multiple. I've found out she's been living just round the corner from me for the last 15 years! Gobsmacked

* * "Gabrielle" - Girly, confident and fun * *
[identity profile] tempusfrangit.livejournal.com
I get the vague impression Karena's ticked off. :\ She posted this in the journal.. (this username is the only currently)

What would YOU do in this situation? )

I don't know what to do. I've tried explaining to her that a lot of the situations now aren't permanent. They'll ease up once we get into a better mental state and physical location.. but it doesn't seem to make a lot of difference.
[identity profile] ricktboy.livejournal.com
So I was hanging out with some friends, who I've recently come out as multiple to...and we were playing truth or dare...one of them was dared to do something, it doesn't matter what, and she said to us, "Everyone crowd around the windows now, I wanna make sure everyone sees this."

I was rolling on the floor laughing...I think that's the single most awesome response to being multiple I've ever heard from anyone...

anyway, onto the "something else"

So last night a friend of ours in another system IM'd us and said she was bored, and could she come over to our system and hang out...we've been interested in inter-system travel for awhile...we told her sure, not a problem, and I was skeptical about whether anything would happen at all...then all of a sudden I felt strange...

You know the feeling you get after thanksgiving dinner or something, when you're so full, you feel like you don't really fit in your skin? Well, it was sort of like that, except a little more...etheral...i guess would be the word for it...I felt like we were so full there wasn't anymore room in our brain or something...even though we don't feel like we're in one "head". I'm not sure how to describe it...anyway, has anyone who travels ever felt like this? what do y'all feel when someone visits you? what do y'all feel when you visit someone else?

after awhile, I came out front, and the feeling eventually went away...I'm thinking she left, and the girls(Tara and Faith, who she was hanging out with)went to bed...well, no, Faith's around, she's wanting to post on lj, but still...

so yeah, anyway...

Rick
Pack Collective
[identity profile] sethrenn.livejournal.com
Reading through the earlier thread about the 'drama community', I found this from [livejournal.com profile] eridanusus, which got me thinking.

"They keep saying people can't talk to each other and stuff obviously they never even read Sybil or When Rabbit Howls or anything! Because they talk to each other in those. And don't they think if someone WAS gonna go "ooh I'm going to fake having multiple personalities" they'd actually do some research so they DIDN'T get it all wrong?"

Maybe I'm giving the wannabe 'experts' too much credit by assuming they've done any reading at all, rather than simply going on hearsay, but it's a good question. Where did the idea come from? 'Mutual unawareness of others' existence' is not and has never been in the diagnostic criteria for either MPD or DID. Even in some of the early 'dual personality' cases described (Mary Reynolds, and Gmelin's patient whose other self spoke fluent French), at least one person was aware of the other's existence, even if the awareness wasn't mutual.

What many of the popular and sensationalistic accounts *do* describe is a 'presenting self' who was unaware of the others and experienced the periods when they were controlling the body as blackouts, while the 'others,' when they were in charge, were not only aware of each other's existence but had varying levels of communication between themselves. Books like "Sybil" and "The Minds of Billy Milligan" give *extremely* clear descriptions of internal communication taking place between selves (i.e. Vicki telling Peggy to "put the dish down" when she wanted to break it). Even if the usual frontrunner knew nothing, that's still a pretty far cry from 'nobody can talk to anyone else.'

In fact, for a while, one of the things some doctors were *specifically* told to ask patients when evaluating for an MPD or DID diagnosis, was whether they 'heard voices.' (Granted, this is an extremely flimsy criterion on which to base the diagnosis-- one has to distinguish between the internal 'voices' that many multiples experience and auditory hallucinations-- but I think I've already made pretty clear my distrust of most professional ideas about multiplicity.)

Virtually every popular account of multiplicity published during the 80s and 90s ends with, if not integration, the attainment of at least some sort of communication between everyone. There were some books published during this time by-- yes, therapists with degrees-- with titles like "Working with the Family Inside" and "Internal Family Systems Therapy," which emphasized communication and awareness as a viable alternative to integration for some multiples. So, even supposing that only a portion of these more sensationalized cases were real, the claim that "in real multiplicity the personalities don't know about each other" still doesn't hang together. I'd take this more seriously if anyone could quote a single source, but no one seems to be able to.

So, where did 'they can't talk to each other' come from? I'm actually curious.
[identity profile] niteofsyn.livejournal.com
---EDIT---
I have gone and made these two posts friends-only once again. It's not that I don't want you guys to read them, it's just that I don't feel comfortable, knowing my family could stumble upon it once again, especially with those two posts unlocked... If you want to read them, comment the first post for [livejournal.com profile] niteofsyn. Sorry for the hassle.
---EDIT---

A few days ago, in response to a post in my LJ, a post-war broke out. Things were said (if you click the link, you'll be able to read it). Then I wrote a response to the whole thing.

[livejournal.com profile] saturniakitty thought it would be a good idea to link to it in here. I didn't think it was such a bad idea.

Just a small warning before the links: This DOES have some negative things about being multiple, as well as other things. It is mildly depressing until my response, and It's LONG. Okay, it's not a novel, but it's a lot longer than a normal LJ post. *shrug* Just thought I might inform you.

I'm not going to put the link up for the 1st post because it's in the first line of the 2nd post. =P
Link: http://www.livejournal.com/users/niteofsyn/25429.html

-C.J.


Hmm...random question: If I have Multiplicity on my friends list, does that mena everyone from Multiplicity can read my journal? Or do I have to post the entries as public for you all to see them? *shrug*

Question

May. 17th, 2005 08:59 am
[identity profile] garden-keep.livejournal.com
How do you deal with people telling you "You know, all those alternate personalities are just pieces of you. They aren't real."

Mindy talked with two people who knew from the rest of us, and one close friend that she told herself. Their remarks were almost identical to the one above. I, personally, am offended by this. For one, Mindy isn't our Original (Core, I believe, is the term used here?). I really don't like being told that I'm "an archetype" or "don't really exist" or "just a coping mechanism". I've tried explaining that I'm my own person, thank you very much, and I really don't appreciate being told that I don't exist. These people insist on telling Mindy that the rest of us aren't real. It bothers us a lot. (From Mindy: I know you're real. If you weren't real, I wouldn't be talking to you, now would I? ::Feel of slight exasperation:: They're just being [naughty word]-heads. ::Covering of Meghan's ears, Eve laughs::) How have all of you dealt with people with this outlook?

~Janessa (With Mindy, Eve, and Meghan in the background)

Cross-posted to silentmultiples and multiplicity.

Pets

Mar. 21st, 2005 07:50 am
[identity profile] imaginedlight.livejournal.com
Has anyone else here had strange experiences with pets?

We spent last weekend with our SO. Rivvi was fronted most of the time, but at one point, Kami was fronted. When Kami went downstairs, the family's new dog started barking and growling at him for no reason. The dog didn't have any problem with Rivvi, in fact, dogs love her, even though she's not a dog person at all. So Kami went out with someone and they got food. They were only gone for about twenty minutes. When they got back, Rivvi took over the front again before they went inside, and there weren't anymore problems with the dog. (Kami's reaction to the situation was funny. He was amused and in disbelief, thinking soemthing like, "Can you believe that dog is daring to bark at me? He must not know I'm a god." Then he started to tell the dog to stop barking in this big, commanding voice... Kami is always so amusing. :) It sure would be boring around here without him!)

Our SO has a cat who loves her and follows her around, meowing for attention. But when someone else started fronting a lot, she was scared of him. There didn't seem to be any reason for it. She never seemed to care much about anyone else fronting, even people who hate cats. She's okay with him now, I think, but for a while she was scared of him and only him.

Has anyone else ever experienced anything like this? Are there any known reasons for it? Animals are supposed to be sensitive to things going on in the human brain. For example, some dogs can be trained to tell when its owner is going to have a seizure before even the owner knows and protect him or her through it. I think it might be somehow related to that. That they can just sense something is off and it freaks them out.

intro

Sep. 19th, 2004 05:28 pm
[identity profile] barbedvelvet.livejournal.com
I guess I figured I should introduce myself. I have been on this list a few times before and I don't ever remember saying anything except for a comment here and there. My name is Kendall, and I used to be a multiple. I guess I still haven't figured out a lot of things about my previous multiplicity. I think a lot of it is that I integrated because someone important to me at the time didn't like my multiplicity. It was too "confusing" or something. I guess on one hand it's understandable. For a while I only had 2 members in my system, one of them being me and the other a dragon named Ffraga. She wasn't the easiest entity to get along with at first, and I didn't tell many people about her for obvious reasons (what do you mean you hear the voice of a dragon in your head?)

I have actually integrated multiple times, but the first time was most traumatic. I had another member of the system show up in school one day and it scared me and some of my friends pretty badly. One of them had already expressed a semi-disgust about the whole thing. I panicked and integrated that night. I ended up splitting multiple times in a pretty chaotic chain of events over the next few months. I have almost no recollection of that time... When I broke up with my boyfriend a few months after my last integration he told me all sorts of things about how I needed help, etc. I eventually convinced myself that he was right, and that was incredibly sad for me. I don't think I was ready to integrate at the time I did, and part of me still feels like I killed parts of myself, although I know that's probably ridiculous. There are still times that I grieve about the whole thing, even though it was a few years ago.

Anyway, I guess that's one of the reasons I'm here. I know I'm not crazy, and that I wasn't crazy then... And it's nice to at least be able to hear from people who know what I'm talking about, nice to know I wasn't alone and that other people don't think I'm crazy either. It has been nice getting to read more up-to-date info on multiplicity. At the time I thought multiplicity came from DID, so my multiplicity at the time made no sense (insofar as the whole dragon thing and some other random aspects that don't fit neatly into the DID mental disorder categrory).

At any rate, I just wanted to introduce myself (for once) and let you know why I'm here and so you know I am not currently a multiple. I'm sorry if anything sounded melodramatic, because I didn't mean for it to sound that way.
[identity profile] riagoose.livejournal.com
Been so caught up in the drama of therapy that I've totally ignored, denied, and betrayed the parts of me that still exist quietly inside. They are like old friends.

I have never studied the terminology of what it is I experience and last time I wrote about I was told I'm wrong in the way I use the terms so I steer away from them...I just know what I live with:

I live with a haziness and what feels like a roomful of people in my head all competing for my attention, right now, all waiting quietly because I've stuffed them away, but knowing that they are there. I feel like I give myself over to them as they emerge and I am forced to watch as they perform in my absence. One just sobs and curls up in the corner when faced with this world--she is very small and was aware of the cruelties of early childhood. There is one is very eloquent and artistic. I lose time and awareness almost completely when she takes over and when I emerge from the darkness and haze she has created beautiful art, or writing--if I were to try myself to write or paint I would struggle to know how to hold a paint brush and I would have a page of scribbles. There are others too--a male who dominates and punishes and encourages me to punish myself, a wild one who is soo crazy and promiscuous that she gets me into trouble if I don't contain her presence... I am the one who handles business and I take the brunt of the stress because I can while the others hide.

What I don't understand is why I should deny their existence? Why should I convince myself that they are all created figments of an abused mind? Am I psychotic if I never leave them behind? Do others experience what I described? My therapist skirts the issue, shoves it away when I come to her with it. She doesn't want to label me as 'psychotic'...I'm lost.
[identity profile] chaostiny.livejournal.com
It's been a while since i have been in an online community for multiples. i quit for a while... shut down on everything except what was in my head... its been a crazy 2 years or so... I swear i recognize some names... possibly holdovers from other forums? my two handles have been chaostiny and zipkidz... If you remember me and wanna say hi I would welcome it:) if not...hey... my memories aren't exactly straight all the time!:)
I am training my therapist... argh... its the third one! But, he is getting it... and so its worth it.
Acupuncture... try it;)
It has been a lifesaver for me for body pains, present or past type, (my acupuncurist knows I am mulitple and very sensitive... he is amazing!) Also headaches, backpain... and even insomnia and depression... and honestly, it doesnt hurt!
I have been dealing with a friend who decided she was multiple after meeting me... argh. I don't even tell her anything and she still manages to imitate me... at one point in october when i was in the hospital, she checked in! AAAAHHHH!!!
As for me... I am trying NOT to be suicidal... trying to get through the mess in my head today. Tomorrow I will tackle the mess for tomorrow... it changes every day so I can't get a grasp on any of it! Oh well... I know eventually things will get different...
Thanks for being here
Alex
[identity profile] sabluro.livejournal.com
We have been having a few problems lately, not to sure what to do. Let us explain. We have been in contact with a multiple system, who everyone seems to like, but she views her multiplicity as an illness, which she wants to be healed from. Granted, we (myself and my insiders) haven't known one another for that long, but we are really starting to communicate quite well, I feel. Now, this is a problem, because we want to be there for this friend, but we don't know how to be a friend, when she keeps going on about how she wants to be healed, and that we don't feel the same way ourselves. Has anyone got any suggestions?

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