Sep. 25th, 2007 09:16 pm
[identity profile] posting in [community profile] multiplicity_archives
I want to quit smoking soon but some of the alters smoke. I had started with the patch and gone several days without a cigarette until I dissociated last night and now I'm back to square one. I don't see my therapist again until October so I won't have her help until then. Any suggestions on how I can get my alters to help me quit smoking?

Xposted to [ profile] didsupport

Date: 2007-09-26 02:28 am (UTC)
ext_96057: (Default)
From: [identity profile]
(taking a wild guess at what might help without having been through anything like that here ^^; )
Have you tried talking to them and explaining why you want to quit smoking? Cause there are some pretty darn good reasons for not wanting to smoke.

Date: 2007-09-26 05:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Have you tried speaking, in some way, to the other individuals in your system to help them to stop smoking? If you cannot speak directly to them, can you possibly leave them a note asking why some of them smoke?

Fen Group

Date: 2007-09-26 05:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Talk to them. Explain that by smoking, they are poisoning the body you're all using. Ask them if they really want to risk lung cancer and all that shit. Tell them that if you're going to fall ill due to their smoking, they'll be the ones fronting and taking the stress of illness.

That's what got me to agree to not start the body on cigs, even though I get some pretty bad urges when I'm fronting sometimes. I like to think I'm a responsible person, so, yeah.

- Draco

Date: 2007-09-26 07:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
We agree with everybody else here but want to add something. Be kind to them as well. Saying "I am the host and YOU WILL stop smoking" probably will not have as much effect and more than likely will meet with rebellion. A better approach would be "Hi. I'm concerned with the wellfare of us all, and I'd appreciate if you would stop smoking." And give them rewards for not smoking.

Date: 2007-09-26 07:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

I agree with this comment.

Date: 2007-09-27 03:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

Date: 2007-09-26 07:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I don't mean this to be impolite, abrupt or nasty, but I think that the best way to deal with the others' smoking would be to ask them as you would any other people. I think that focussing on the collective's general health would be more productive than just talking about trying to get your alters to help you to stop smoking. After all, the smoking would affect them too. A group-centred approach would probably be less likely to be met with rebellion and resentment than a host-centred approach. I think that would hold true for natural plural groups and trauma-split groups in which there are many people using the body. I'm not sure how well that would work for soulbonds; I suppose that it would depend on the way the bonds organise themselves.

Kerry (with input from Hess)
Fen Group

Date: 2007-09-26 02:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
That's the way the rest of the people in here got me - they appealed to my sense of community responsibility. After all, if I'm fronting, I'm using this body, and it would be highly unfair of me to possibly ruin everybody else's fun just because I want to pander to my addiction. As our host put it: "If you go to a nice community park, you don't leave your trash lying around everywhere, either. It spoils the fun for everyone else, and probably also for yourself, after a while. So, think of this body as our community park."

- Draco

Date: 2007-09-26 12:07 pm (UTC)
pthalo: a photo of Jelena Tomašević in autumn colours (Default)
From: [personal profile] pthalo
You aren't back to square one. You had a setback, but that doesn't undo the hardwork you've done to this point. Have a talk with whoever is smoking about why they're smoking and whether they want to quit and all that, and go back to trying not to smoke. This happens to singlets too.

Date: 2007-09-26 03:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
hide the cigarettes?

Date: 2007-09-27 05:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Not to mention the money?


Date: 2007-09-29 08:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Why you want to stop?
Smoking is not so bad, I think.

Date: 2009-10-03 05:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Several of us used to smoke, and one still does, but we took the collective approach that the body needed to be respected (same as agreeing to get enough sleep, etc). Punk is allowed to smoke when out at clubs, but not at home, at work, or elsewhere. We suggest to him that 1 to 3 cigarettes in an evening out is probably plently.

The only exception to this is when we go through a relationship break up, in which case he is allowed to buy one whole pack of cigarettes, preferably Native Spirit and/or organic.

Tobacco is a nightshade plant and as such actually impacts the serotonin levels in the brain. To quit smoking, I recommend seriously upping the intake of tomatos, peppers, and eggplants (possibly potatos too, but I like green peppers best for this), as well as getting aerobic exercise. It is much easier to do something Instead of Smoking than it is to just sit around Not Smoking.

Best of luck,

ps- pthalogreen is right- you are not back to square one. No journey is ever that linear or that black and white.


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